External Factors Contributing To Infidelity In Marriages

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Our environment, the atmosphere we breathe emotionally, no longer supports sexual monogamy. On the contrary, it pushes people away from it. It is true that there are still many people who resist environmental pressures.

Christian life still calls people to turn away from the blandishments of an apostate culture. And many maybe most do. But it is still a fact that our environment has encouraged people to take the lid off their sexual needs and urges.

At one time, the global scene provided all sorts of props for infidelity and erected fences for lust and sexual need. Neighbors cared and watched; the church admonished and threatened; friends
frowned pregnancy was a real threat. And there was not the media exposure urging us to consider our sexual desires and sexual rights. But much of that has changed.

I will sketch a few of the currents in our social situation that make infidelity attractive and inviting.

• The Sexualized Atmosphere
  Everyone is aware that our society puts a premium on sexual fulfilment, not on stable institutions. We are nagged into believing that there is no personal fulfilment without sexual satisfaction.
  Every popular magazine, most Elms and many commercial advertisements make us acutely conscious of our sexuality and our sexual potential and desires. Our ethos is sexually supercharged.

This means that married people, once content with stability and security, are now pressured into asking disturbing questions about their own sexual needs and wants.

• Unceasing Pre-Marital Sex:
  What do you expect in a situation where sexual interaction among the young chaps is no longer frowned at. Young men and ladies today consider sexual intercourse as great expression of love towards their friends and fiancées. Many have engaged in sexual relationship with as many friends as he/ she may have had. Marriage will not in any way stop such attitude to relationship; rather it gives rise to unceasing immoral practices.

• Sexual Convenience:
  We are mobile: we can get away easily to places where we will not be seen.

We are affluent: we can pay for the secret lunches and motel rooms.

We are free from worry about pregnancy: we have the pill.
Convenient adultery is simply within more people’s reach more than ever before.

• Sexual Contact:
  Men and women who are married are meeting many more sexually interesting people.
  Women have become successful in jobs that once were occupied only by males. Men and women meet each other on a free and equal basis. And not all of them are prepared to handle new contacts with sexually available people.
  
  

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• Community Erosion:
  We no longer live in neighborhoods where people know us. Our acquaintances and friends no longer care that much about our moral behavior; we have learned not to be our brother’s or sister’s keeper.
  Our churches have lost their moral clout; furthermore, community pressure and community support have been whittled away. The loss of community life means that the burden has fallen on the partners themselves. And many are not able to cope with the freedom and alienation that the loss of community inflicts on them.

• Romantic Marriage:
  Once it was alright to marry for security, comfort, and responsible parenthood. Now we are considered unromantic and calculating if we marry for anything less than erotic desire.
  This means that we expect personal fulfilment through marriage and sexual fulfillment which is a large part of the package.
  We are expected to cultivate, celebrate, and voluptuously enjoy sexual life together for our own sakes. But once the experience gets dull or frustrating, some people find that marriage is not after all, romantic enough.
  Marriages rooted in erotic desiree tend to drive people outside marriage for love when the flames of passion have turned to the ashes of resentment.

These are a few of the externals in our environment that encourage adultery. They wind up the inner springs of sexual need on one hand; and they break down the fences that used to confine sexual needs on the other. They make adultery easier, and they encourage it besides.