Wife or feminist?

As a woman, I was lucky to be born in a place where sex-based discrimination is “banished” by the community, unlike many other countries where gender equality simply does not exist. For me as a woman and individual, it is important to support this equality movement and educate myself about the “feminism” from the person I admire the most in my life – my mother. The following paragraphs share her thoughts on the topic.

Feminism… for some people it is a purpose in life, for others - a vulgar word. Where the feminism did even came from, and is it used as a labeling tool for women who are:

• Single
• Have never been married
• Don’t have kids and have never wanted to

Rhetoric! I am a mother of two kids. I was raised in a small, conservative town where to go on a walk by yourself, drink a coffee, tea or a glass of wine alone is considered almost a crime. I got married when I was only 19 years old and still a student, which wasn't the beginning of my woes, but the beginning of my growth.
And so, what the early motherhood told me? First of all, having a small baby that you have to take care of is frightening, even terrifying. Because of this, the first thing you do as a young mother is going to a public phone (in these times we didn`t have the much needed cell phones) and calling your mother for help. In my case, my mom, as a mother of three already grown up kids could not provide anything else apart from instructions, so when she hang up the phone and I was left alone. That is the moment when the first change happens. Now you are a grown up mother of a little girl, which is laying in her bed and is waiting for you, her MOTHER.
At that time you haven’t thought of feminism yet. Your life is this little girl, her gorgeous father (who is acting as a teenager), lectures and a small student dorm. Despite all the difficulties, our young family managed to stay strong expecting brighter future. Sooner rather than later, my husband’s parents bought us an apartment in a good neighborhood in the big city. Also, we have managed to acquire better jobs securing our needs, and not long after that I gave birth to another child.

What feminism?
Here is where the feminism and the fight begins. Once you get out of your peaceful home, there will be employers who are not willing to give you a job because of “status” and more specifically, they will be afraid that home-related responsibilities will affect your performance at work. At the end, you will find a job, even a good one. You will start reading and learning new things, you will be doing as much as the man does and you will participate in as much projects as they do, you will have great ideas but it will never be good enough! And in most cases it is your skirt, or your high heels.
At the end of the day, you will get what you deserve. Not that they stop looking at your legs or at your heels and not that your male colleague, dressed in a black suit isn’t staring at you when you walk by. However, now you are a real feminist – married (for almost 20 years), with two beautiful grown up daughters, with perfect nails even at doctor’s appointment, a good mother and a professional!

In addition, this is what the feminism looks like through the eyes of a married woman with two kids. Feminism is being a professional, feminism is thinking like a man and looking like a lady!