Boyish And Girlish

in #life4 years ago

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Oh look, a butterfly, so girly!

My wife sent me a link (https://www-m.cnn.com/2018/04/12/health/boys-girls-gender-norms-parenting-strauss/index.html) last week knowing that I would just have to comment. I have written at least three posts about the subject after all (https://driptorchpress.wordpress.com/category/gender/). I didn't ask this exact question though: Why is it that girls can be "boyish" but boys can't be "girlish"?

Perhaps that is the wrong question. The more pertinent question is: How do we define what is "boyish" or "girlish"?

The article in question discussed several points like clothing preferences (colors and sparkles) and personality traits like compassionate or caring vs agressive and aloof.

To the first: preferences like these are almost completely cultural. What one culture considers feminine may very well be masculine in another culture. Pink and blue are not inherently gendered. A flashy man is not a less masculine man. There just happens to have been a movement towards dull drab colors on men in our culture over the past 120 years or so. If your son likes rainbows and flash he is not less of a boy for it, he just likes something less boring than the current culture would like him to.

To the second: what makes character traits feminine or masculine? Sure, there are definite hormonal and physical differences between males and females that result in slightly different personalities, but these are hardly universal. And they aren't even that big of differences when we really look at them. My sons are definitely different from my daughters, but the differences are so subtle I couldn't tell you if it was gender or simply their personalities.

Why this cultural push to make gentleness and compassion a strictly "female" trait? Why assume that a gentle man is effeminate? Why assume a woman who is strong and courageous is "acting like a man"?

Personally I think we are a culture much too obsessed with sexuality and gender. Since when are people narrowly defined by who they want to have sex with? Since when does gender dictate every character trait and personality quirk?

It's gotten to the point where people even worry about their sexuality in church. Someone was complaining that worship songs in their church sounded "gay" because they call God "beautiful" or express a sentiment of wanting to be with Jesus. While I could agree that the theology of these types of songs is usually lacking and they are usually set to fru fru tunes it is ignorant just to lay them out as "gay". Are those sentiments incorrect? Was it "gay" when Jesus washed His disciples feet or when we are told to greet one another with a holy kiss? What is it about expressing love in a gentle fashion that is "gay" or even "unmanly"?

Back to the first question though: Why is it that girls can be "boyish" but boys can't be "girlish"? For that answer you'll have to wait for next week.

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you have an answer??? Then I have a whole list of questions for you! Just kidding. I'll be looking out for your post next week - not to put the pressure on or anything :-)

Hahaha! O.O I'm actually still ruminating on it and I'm not even entirely sure where I will go!

This is something I think about often, having been raised by a very androgynous woman. You're very bold to ask if Jesus' disciples were being "gay." I love it! Can't wait to see where this is going.

Hello! Im curious to see where you are going with this! I personally agree.its getting there culturally but a man can still be killed for wearing a dress and that is not fking faif or cool. We have a group called @teamgirlpowa and if you are genderfluid or just a man who likes to wear skirts and makeup you are welcome with us. We are very Feminist tho ! 😝

Worthy to be thought about. It reminds of the sentence said by the Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe that who has defined that white is beautiful and black is not. Why call a bad day a "black day", why can't we call it a white day?

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Really nice write up

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