You're a great person..
I remember 10 years back when I met a colleague (and a future friend) on my studies, and when she told me that she can't imagine that people can't perceive the pain of others. That people judge her because she cries when she reads about a rain forest being shredded to pieces, or when she sees a country thousands of miles away in war. She cries because she feels the pain, and it's overwhelming.. It took me years to understand that, to understand the feeling of pain about something that isn't in your immediate surrounding (physically or meta-physically) but it's empowering you.
We're all just pure children in the end, as we were in the beginning, and when you become aware of the "smallness" of yourself and the power of the universe (I guess), there is no rationalization, or philosophy to explain that fact. All you can do is cry, and cry, and cry, and enjoy the fact that without you, that whole universe wouldn't exist like that, or be.
Anyways, thank you for a really open - hearted post. :)