I accept what I see expecting to wake up

For the last few days, I've been flashing on a scene in the movie, "The Matrix". The Matrix is one of 4 or 5 movies that I've seen in my lifetime that gave me pause to think about reality and what it is, exactly. Other movies like Strange Days, Pleasantville, Truman and Groundhog Day, all have made me think of reality in terms of my coexistence with it.

My reality is shaped by my capacity to interpret it. I have seen the studies that show that the brain cannot distinguish between the waking state and the dream state, and found the point of departure. The movie, "What the Bleep Do We Know" was a documentary instructive on this point. In that movie, we see how thinking routines can shape our perception of reality. From obsessions to habits, I know from my own experience that the universe reflects how I think and feel at all times.

So after a few days of flashing on that scene in The Matrix, where Morpheus questions Neo on his experience of reality, I had to go back and watch it again on my DVD player. I haven't used that thing in ages, but there I was, staying up late into the night, watching an old movie to understand what exactly took place in that scene.

The relevant quote (among many) that I was able to find was this nugget, where Morpheus says to Neo:

You have the look of man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that is not far from the truth.

Lately, that describes me rather well. I am agnostic as to all things. I am aware of the work of the great physicists of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. I know that quantum mechanics, the best tool we have available to understanding our world at the scale of the atom, has nothing to do with certainty and is all about probabilities. All of our electronic devices operate on quantum mechanics. To me, that is one really big hint that everything that I see and touch, might not even be there. It seems such a subtle thing to realize that everything is one shade away from being a dream.

When I wake up, I accept what I see before me. My bedroom, my wife, my house and everything and everyone else, they're all there. I acknowledge the good in my life every day, for I tend to see greater opportunities than if I dwell on the bad. I have faith in this outlook on life, that it works.

Years ago, I got another hint of how the universe works while using my computer one day. Long ago, in a past life, I was using Windows 98. It was not working particularly well that day and I got angry at the computer. The computer continued to misbehave and I got angrier. After a few minutes of this, I began to consider the possibility that the computer was reflecting how I was thinking and feeling.

So I dropped the anger and let it go. Then I rebooted my computer one more time and all was well. Life is better when I drop the anger. Life is better when I let the feeling pass before acting.

It is clear to me that the protagonist in The Matrix, Neo, had to let his feelings pass in order to get the work of The Revolution done. Once he understood what the matrix was, he could finally wake up. He could transcend the old ways of thinking in the matrix, with all of the people in it, so that he could finally help them as he was helping himself.

For some of us, it is a slow awakening. For others, it's like someone turned the lights on. Some of us keep on sleeping, unsure if they are in their own dream or somebody else's. I can say right now that I'm not even sure if I'm awake yet. So I continue to accept what I see, still expecting to wake up.