Why I Will Never Be There

in life •  4 months ago

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We don't have the allure of winter and rainy days can be too much sometimes. It's muddy out here probably because some bloody politician needed the money more than the school kids who have to walk in discomfort every day. Sure, some people like rainy days especially if they are living in the comfort of their beautiful lives. For it's the time they can stay indoors and cuddle with their loved ones. As for me, it's the time I sit in front of my jungle silently, sip my coffee slowly and hear the rain pouring wildly. Though I miss cycling to the beach to have that much-needed physical activity of the day, I'll just breathe in this moment and accept that I'm here. For now.

At this point, I have achieved maximum comfort. No more worrying about where to sleep or what to eat. No more annoying neighbors, noisy dogs, and rooster alarm clocks. I'm close to the beach and I have my silence. And I don't have to worry about money, at least for now. You should say that I should stop ranting now. But the thing is, I will just never be there. I will never be satisfied, life requires me to keep on ranting, to keep on desiring things, to keep on moving. To keep on changing. To keep on wanting more out of it. Life does not stop when you have achieved everything you need or whatever your heart desires.

I don't want to stagnate in the all-too-comfortable and the illusion of security. I am here to be there. Almost there yet never there. You see, life is all about change. Life is getting comfortable and then getting out it. Life sometimes makes you want to go back and forth. And no, I don't want predefined patterns. I want to weave my own basket and then move on to the next. Whatever you say, you will still hear me rant day by day. I will keep on making my life more interesting. To have more adventures and to fight through all the high drama. There is no single or right way to live my life. There's more to it than sitting here in comfort. Who knows when that mysterious hand in the mud will start pulling me down back into the eternal darkness of nonexistence? There are no guarantees. The only certainty I know is that there's too much uncertainty in that muddy road. Anytime, I can fall.

Curiosity is the cure. Taking into consideration what it's like to be there. Things will never be enough for us free humans. Wanting more does not mean I want more material things and clutter in life. It is just trying to make my life more fulfilling and meaningful by getting new experiences. By constantly changing and not giving in to the stranglehold of beliefs. People are changing. Things are changing. Your mind is changing. And that is alright.

When it's rainy, I miss sunny days. Sunny days are quite unbearable though. Now I try to remember what it's like to be there in order to appreciate being here. I see my life branching out into different directions and me being confused than ever. Confused about wanting everything at the same time. I want happiness, love, comfort, freedom, and excitement. It's fine if I can't have it all. I'll have it one at a time. If you have everything then can you imagine how boring life can be? You stop. Even the most successful and famous individuals die. It sucks. The tragedy is that people have stopped looking for something else to live for, and no it does not have to be a purpose. There's no pressure in all that. Just something in there. Something somewhere in there that will create more meaning in life. When I am here, I want to be there. Constantly evolving, changing. Living.

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I feel what you feel and there's no psychedelic experiences left that can change my mind.
Hope all is good!

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If you want to freeze everything so that nothing will change, it can't be done because everything is changing.

Changing is a good thing. You will not get bored. You will always see something new in life, some desire to fulfill, some goals to achieve. This is how, we move forward.

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If you want to freeze everything so that nothing will change, it can't be done because everything is changing.

Very true!

I had to chuckle when your like I want my quiet. Reminds me of an old lady like my Mom.

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I'm an old lady lol.

Life is the name of continuous struggle. I wish you a lot of happiness, success, wealth with great health in your upcoming life @diabolika

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Life is the name of continuous struggle.

Truth.

Thank you!

"I don't want to stagnate in the all-too-comfortable and the illusion of security."

I think that is the trap that a lot of people fall into. All security is an illusion and if we don't recognize that we are doomed to watch it evaporate and leave us with nothing.

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All security is an illusion and if we don't recognize that we are doomed to watch it evaporate and leave us with nothing.

A lot of people don't know this. I think awareness is the first step.

hummm....you really miss your bike for sure. I will soon realize 2 years without using any bike. lol. but anyway, I'm shifting to motorcycle soon. Some of my earnings here on steemit will pay me a motorcycle since i'm really tired of being stuck in a traffic jam like crazy.

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I think that's a good investment!

You'll get "there", I have no doubt. And when you do, you'll get curious about something else and new again; curiosity is the cure, as it keeps us moving forward, like you said ;-)

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Awww thanks.😊

curiosity is the cure, as it keeps us moving forward

I agree!

"You should say that I should stop ranting now. But the thing is, I will just never be there. I will never be satisfied, life requires me to keep on ranting, to keep on desiring things, to keep on moving."

Regardless how good things seem to be, I still rant. It's like the old Grateful Dead song that had the line: "Nothing's for certain, it can always go wrong. Come in when it's raining, go on out when it's gone. I've been having a hard time living the good life."

I'm an American expat. Last summer, I spent a couple of weeks with my second son who had moved back to the States. We had a great time and he was doing well. I was very happy since he really seemed to enjoy his new life living in the country of his passport.

Two months later, he died in a car wreck. All the happiness was snuffed out. Life can really suck, but as Dylan wrote: "It's life and life only." Yep, it's "constantly evolving, changing."

Thanks for this post. I felt a little bummed out earlier this day. I don't feel as crappy after reading this.

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I'm really sorry to hear that...😔

Life can really suck, but as Dylan wrote: "It's life and life only."

Truth.

You're not alone who felt a little bummed out... I feel that sometimes, or maybe every day at a certain time. Because it's a rough world out there. But you know, it's just one life. I could bear it.

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By the way, if you'd like to read the first chapter of the third book I'm putting on Steemit, it's posted here.

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Thanks for sharing, sorry, I know I have to start checking other blogs now!

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Thanks for checking it and thanks for the payment. You didn't need to do that. I'd rather have a comment. Anyway, I'll be posting the 20 to 30 chapters during the next couple of months. I hope you can find the time to look at them occasionally.

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No worries, I am always looking for talented authors to support. I will check your blog from now on.

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Thanks.

Who knows when that mysterious hand in the mud will start pulling me down back into the eternal darkness of nonexistence?

Nobody knows...

By the way have you read I am that by Nisargadatta Maharaj?

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Not yet, but thanks I will check on the internet!

Sounds very familiar. Thankfully no rain here at the moment so embracing the sunshine. A time to get out there and find that illusive companion for those col wet evenings.

I agree people aren't looking for meaning in their life theses day TV seems to be the topic of conversation not adventure and passion to find a purpose 💯🐒

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Yeah I don't have TV so I just write and read when it's raining!

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Great life choice my time with TV has also passed. Too much of my time is not spent on Steem but when the design get easier to read and select what you look at i'll be rolling 💯🐒

Place likes to look so beautiful

Life is the name of continuous struggle. I wish you a lot of happiness, success, wealth with great health in your upcoming life @diabolika

I was just thinking about this kind of thing yesterday. How refreshing to see it put into words so very well! Upvoted, followed and resteemed!
@bitsy :)

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