Message for Unhappy men today. WARNING: Deep

“Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.” - Jon Stewart

Men of Steemit, I would like to introduce myself to you.  Before I begin I want to say, there's no sales package, there's no annoying emails, there's no signup.   I'm coming to you with a message of love, wisdom, and encouragement.

I’m DHVCoach and I’m here with a Valentine’s Day message to wake you up.

You have the opportunity to learn to be a King.

Being a King is not a net sum of your current situation in life, but of your own outlook on the world and on women.

Perhaps you’ve heard of inner game and outer game.  Outer game is the clothes you wear, the job you have, the car you drive, the friends, the lovers, etc.  Inner game is how you feel about yourself and how you interact with the world you’ve created.  

If your inner game is lacking, your outer game shell WILL crumble.  Understand this and you access great power.

A King is a state of mind.

Which brings me to lesson #1.

• "Killing Desperation"

In the end, the world runs on sex. Old men don’t drive Ferrari’s in order to speed race, right? Many of us desire a girlfriend or, dare I say,  multiple girlfriends. We all want a woman, but our desire and feelings brings out the desperation traits within us.

Signs of Desperation

-always giving the women attention.
-texting all the time (and texting immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a text, etc.)
-takes every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
-always available.
-never willing to walk away (or even disagree in some cases).
-etc.

What do all of these have in common? It is that the man puts the woman on the pedestal rather then himself.

Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was obsessed with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time for you. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate. Why? Because in your own mind you are thinking two things: "No one else must want her," and "If I can get her obsessed with me, I know I can get better girls to become at least interested in me." Her desperation is turning you off. The same is true for women.

Women are not attracted to desperate men. Period. I've told plenty of people this and sometimes the typical response is: "Well, that is just who I am." Eventually, they will realize that the only common denominator in the pattern of crash and burns will be themselves. So if anyone has told you that you seem desperate, for the time being, consider that its true.

There is a key to removing desperation forever. There is no simple trick that will kill the desperation. It will not be in how you dress, how you talk, or where you go for dates. No, the key is in how you think.

The key to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to believe that you are The King.

Desperate guys do not do this. They see the woman as the prize rather then themselves. They see that the woman must be romanced rather then them. They will conform and become a 'nice guy'. (And nice guys finish last.)

If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will leave you because you have taught her she is better then you. Once she thinks that, she will want to replace you with someone better, because you have given her reasons to believe that you are unworthy of her greatness.

This holds true for both men and women. The last thing we want is to settle for a mate when we could have gotten better. This is why the element of challenge is so important in seduction

The lesson: Don’t ever give her the chance to think she is better than you!

You are The King; she should be thrilled just to have a chance with you.

When you believe you are that Seducer, all the desperation signs you were emitting vanish and an aura of attraction will surround you. Combine this manner of thinking with all the seduction skills you know, and you will become irresistible.

Let’s work through the desperation signs.  Find the ones that you do and FIX IT.

-always giving the women attention.

Now that you're The King, you don't have time to give women attention. A King is kind, enthusiastic, smiling, yet you have things to do. A King’s time is precious. A woman must win your attention; you shall not give it to them.

-texting all the time (and texting immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a text, etc.)

The King simply cannot text all the time because he has tons of other numbers. The King is not competing for a particular girl. The girls are competing for him.

-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)

Why would The King tell everything about himself to a woman? No, the woman must justify herself to him because you are the prize. The King would reveal things about himself only as a reward. The woman loves the mystery in this and sees knowing The King as peeling layers of an onion, knowing him gradually.

-always available.

The King is busy with many many women! She must fight for your time, not the other way around.

-never willing to walk away or disagree.

The King wouldn't accept any disrespect from any woman. If a woman gave him such disrespect, he walks away. The King knows all these women want to be with him so he can eject at any time.

Now, I can hear you from here, "DHVCoach, I can't act like a King. I don’t have tons of women after me." This is reversing cause and effect. Assume you are The King, think that you are, and as you think you shall become. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value then the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they are other women). When you think you are The King, you will act like it.  Men and women alike will notice.

Traits of Kings

Certain qualities are always attractive to others. By thinking King, it allows you to emit these traits naturally and without any effort.

-Good looks

You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does The King wear raggedy T-shirts? Does The King walk with his head down? No! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride because you are proud of yourself. After all, you are one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.

Anyone can wear a suit. But few can wear a suit proudly. Few can wear a suit that seems to fit them naturally and creates an aura of importance. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the consequence by how you think of yourself. Women know this and is the reason why you are judged by this criteria.

-Humor

Girls LOVE humor. The King is funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don't worry, "My goodness, she is really cute! How can I attract her!?" They ASSUME she will be attracted and they have fun in the meantime.

Don't be shy. Let your personality SHINE. When you think you are The King, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.

-Dominance

You are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be 'nice' in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But The King will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET. When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is ridiculous to treat a relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, YOU are the prize to be sought.

Look at the soap operas and romance novels for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presence of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a 'nice guy'.

Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak and behave strength. 

I know, I know. I can hear you saying, "But I worry about mistakes" and to that I say “Learn on your feet!”  Even if you make a mistake, you'll condition yourself to react better in the future.

Here’s an easy example. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is always a good thing and should never be feared.

The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all.

-Ambition

When you think yourself as The King, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, The King knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you'll be among the stars.  Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.  Know that you are.

DHVCoach