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RE: Why College? An Honest Insider's Guide for Students and Parents

in #life6 years ago

This is such a refreshing post - it's going to be quite a few years before my daughter (nearly 5 yo) has to start thinking about this stuff, but my husband and I talk about it quite a bit.

He has a grade 3 education - he's severely dyslexic and ADD, and in small town British Columbia in the 70s they didn't know how to handle him, so he just quit and went to work. Not being able to read or having no formal education never stopped him though, he went on to build a very successful company in Toronto for over 15 years. Now he's a stay at home dad and is revisiting his education, studying for his GED.

I on the other hand have a BFA - but I went out of my way to find an affordable, polytechnic-style school so that I could learn the most that I could about the craft that I wanted to learn. I don't regret it, but I also came out feeling convinced that university is more for the connections you make than the actual academics (which are still important, don't get me wrong...), and is certainly not a necessity for all humans to get by. Of course my husband, who I met in my 3rd year at uni, was a factor in that realization.

But the people that I met, especially many that I went to high school with, just had an unhealthy expectation with what college was going to get them - everything they said 100% resonates with ALL the points you bring up.

The big thing that kills me is the expectation that a piece of paper makes one entitled to a high paying job - both from the employer and parental perspectives. Depending on the human, all that time and money spent on trying to get into college right out of high school would be better spent exploring the world, getting to know yourself and your deepest desires, and finding your place in this universe. College may or may not need to be a part of that grand plan!

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Wow, you really nailed some key points! I was nodding my head repeatedly as I read your comment :). My kids are 8 and 6, and feel like my wife and I need to be thinking about it now so that we are better prepared for the inevitable choices we will have to make as a family. I don't think we have to obsess over it, or figure it all out any time soon, but just keep it a topic of conversation. She is a high school guidance counselor, so we see it from two angles. I think our focus right now is to seek out and stay open to alternatives. As much as I am lover of the liberal arts, I almost hope my kids will want to go into a science field because I have a feeling that's where we will see the bigger changes in education. College was originally more about liberal arts, and so I can see that side staying relatively the same into the future. But go to college to learn how to code? Um, no. (Not that that's what I mean when I say sciences).

I have heard many stories of people with less education doing fine in life. Its col that he now still has a desire to go back though. I think sometimes people take that positive life experience without higher education, and use it to argue that higher ed isn't important. You both seem to share my attitude -- definitely issues that need to be addressed, but still quite valuable, just maybe not for the reasons most people think.

I would be interested to hear your husbands response to some interview questions I was asking a little while back. I did some research by interviewing people in hiring positions, and based on the NACE survey that comes out alomst every year that says employers want new hires with better communication skills, I would ask the subjects if the agreed, and then to be more specific about what exactly they mean by communication skill (that is actually an absurdly abstract concept). This usually required getting them to share a real example. Every person I interviewed ended up describing scenarios where the central issue was empathy. One person said he hired a newly graduate network engineer from a very reputable college who threw tantrums in the office when people would show him how to do things like rent a car online. Long story short, I now include multiple approaches to learning about empathy in all of my classes.

I agree college is more about things like connections, along with what I wrote about simply being more sophisticated. This is especially true of schools like Penn State, where you can end being interviewed by an alum at just about any job anywhere in the country! They are like a virus :).

Your last comment is really my motivation for writing about this topic. I had been thinkign for a while about what I ought to be writing about based on my experience. The obvious answer is the subject I teach, and I have written about communication a bit, but in some ways I really don't want to spend more time with those topics. Then it hit me that a different angle would how I could offer my experience and insight to families, and that was a kind of big light bulb.

Well, thanks for the detailed and thought-full comment. I hope you will look out for future posts on the topic. With kids in the same age range it would be great to keep in touch as they grow and we get closer to graduation. Cheers!

Oh, are you still in BC? I lived in Seattle for 6 years, and spent quite a bit of time traveling around Vancouver, and through BC and Yukon to get to Alaska. My heart is partially still in that region.

huh, link me to that post - I'd be interested in hearing his responses as well, LOL! He ran a hazardous waste removal company in Toronto for 15 years, so the majority of his hires were people who couldn't get any other jobs. Many times they were people just coming out of prison, or people with few other skills who weren't afraid to get their hands dirty. He's gotten by throughout the year solely on his talking skills, tenacity, and resourcefulness. He quit that company finally though because he hated the job, and also happened to have a particularly bad colitis flare up.

Anyway, he definitely has a love-hate relationship with the education system. In a lot of ways I know he feels slighted because of not being able to read well, and that's his main motivation for getting back into his education. Despite all his experience, he really really wants our kids to go to college and ironically I'm the one who's like "well if they decide that's what they want..." hippie mentality, lolol

We're no longer in BC - we moved to LA a few years ago because I work in the film industry (in post) and the work is much more prolific and lucrative here. But yeah, nothing beats that pacific-north-wet beauty!!

I was really surprised, and kind of upset, the first time my wife said, "Well, maybe our kids won't even go to college." You can imagine how my reaction might be scripted for the big screen! Now its really funny to think how different I feel just a few years later. I mean, it would kind of suck, but sort of like if they chose to play lacrosse instead of run track (kind of nerdy thing in our family :)

hahah! Well for us it's art and music - don't get me wrong, I'm all for her wanting to be an astronaut when she grows up, but frankly we'd both be shocked if she doesn't go into art and music just based on her parents history... ;)

definitely checking it out, thanks!

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