Birthday Reflections- Being a Year Older and Other Thoughts
"So how does it feel to be a year older?"
It's one of those questions people inevitably ask around birthdays... and it's also (to my way of thinking) one of the most meaningless questions on the planet?
How does it feel? I doesn't feel anything... it's simply another day.
I turned 57, yesterday... and I can't say that I spent even a single second contemplating the number, and how it "felt" to somehow be associated with that number. Even though-- in some sense-- it gets to be part of my life for the next 365 days.
Meaningful Years?
Ferry wake in the sunset
Anyway, having had the question surface once again did make me pause to consider the significance of "Years that Mean Something."
Turning 18 definitely "meant" something... it felt tangibly different. I had become "adultish," and there was actually a new world open to me. So that felt like it was a big deal. An interesting side effect-- which I didn't actually consider till many years later-- was that there was also a loss of something-- certain benefits and "get out of jail free" cards one could play as "a child" no longer applied.
Turning 21 definitely "meant" something... and felt very different because I was now "an adult" and could do whatever I wanted. Or so it seemed. At least, I would be held accountable for the consequences of doing anything I wanted.
Years are Years are Years...
Ferry wake in the sunset
In some senses, turning 30, 40 and 50 seemed to carry far more importance to other people, than to me. Sure, there were celebrations involving black balloons and the traditional statements that now I was "over the hill" and "getting old," but they always struck me as "rituals" enacted to help people look at their own mortality. Or something.
I don't really foresee any future birthdays as having particular "meanings," either... beyond simply marking another passing of another year.
Truthfully, I have never been afraid of death; of dying.
I have been afraid of... I have been afraid of-- and remain afraid of-- prolonged pain as a precursor to death, but not death itself. The idea of slowly being eaten up by cancer or something similar-- while in excruciating physical pain-- that part scares me. But not the actual end.
But What About Retirement?
People hear me say these things, and "accuse" me of being some kind of strange nihilist. Quite honestly? I don't think I am-- it feels more like I am simply at peace with this whole thing we call "the human experience."
Retirement?
I am not sure what that even really means. So few of us even hold "regular" jobs anymore that we actually get to "retire" from.
I remember my father retiring from the family business-- early, at 59, even-- to pursue his desire to restore old antique paintings and trade them for profit, as a sort of hobbyist, late-in-life second career. He just wanted a shot at doing something he really enjoyed doing, and getting financially rewarded for. Even though he had been the CEO of a manufacturing company started by my grandfather in the 1920s, he never really liked what he was doing.
I doubt I will ever "retire," in the sense we know the word... so a "retirement birthday" will probably not become relevant.
So true about people not really retiring these days. My in-laws both retired in their early sixties and, frankly, haven't made very good use of their time since then. My husband is vaguely horrified by the waste of the last twenty years of his parent's lives and is determined he won't spend his years sitting in front of a TV watching the Discovery Channel and bitching about life. Anyway, uh, that really had nothing to do with your post. I just got all introspective while reading it and remembered how my husband and I will likely never have normal jobs like my in-laws did and a chance to "retire". In some ways that seems sad, because I'd like to have a chance to travel the world and find out who I am without the constant need to be driven for money. But then, as my husband said, I wouldn't want to squander that time or use it badly. I guess my life will be my life and it will go how it goes. Thanks for triggering some introspection this morning!
Thanks for the comment @leta-blake... and no worries about going "off topic" here-- I write mostly to stimulate discussion, and if I can make people THINK and reflect on life, then that makes it a successful post... in fact, I think I might just go write about that, for this morning!
I'm not unhappy with life... I think I was born on the edge of a generation who-- at least at some level-- understood they would never have the (financial) success/security of their parents. I think that died with the notion of "long term careers." Once we went to all this job-hopping and career switching, we gave up a measure of security.
Fortunately, my wife and I both work at things that are not very "age dependent" so we can hopefully keep going for a long time. "Retirement?" Not sure how that would work... fortunately, we do things we enjoy, and hopefully can keep enjoying. The only "sad" thing is knowing that there is no (visible) natural end to having to "worry about money" pretty much every day. That's just part of self employment, I guess.
I'm surprised there is another that shares my views on life - death - birthdays - and the dreaded but non-existent retirement - I'll always work on something. To me "retirement" means a living death. We're not too far off in difference of age. I can remember cracking-open my first "legal" beer at 18! Good post.
I never been big on birthdays and try and avoid my own like the plague hehe. Some people seem to go all out every year I just never understand. Not like they ever needed excuses to go out drinking an getting in trouble before. They seem to use it as an extra reason to do just that.
I know some people that are all about “retirement” counting down the decades some of them even are. You would think at some point they would start to focus on getting an actual retirement plan in place an start setting aside finances. Nope, always just blowing cash and never saving a dime. Some just think if they hit this magical date due to their birthday they are entitled to retire regardless of their finances.
I am 5 years ahead of you. The toughest problems I feel are the gradual loss of physical capacity. Seems like every day I add one more thing to my list of things I will never do again.
Yes this right here. I see it so much as my son who is 16 and approaching his prime gets stronger and I get, little by little, weaker. I hate it LOL
Yeah, I hear you on that one... just trying to stay as healthy as possible. Your words remind me a bit of something my elderly aunt said (she'd just turned 80 at the time): "You know you're getting older when it takes two hands to pour from the milk carton."
I don't like to dwell on the number either. Although I've always gotten a wee bit depressed at any Birthday ending in a 9. Well, not actually until 29. Next up is 59...maybe I'll just say I'm 60 and get right down to the celebration!!
I guess it just wasn't ever very important to me... on some level, these things are insignificant on the greater scale of everything that is happening in the greater world.
I don't think about this.
I don't feel older at all and I don't mind looking older.
I like all the extra space in a bus as well.
I don't plan any retirement, I will keep on going as far as I can.
Sounds like we're on a fairly similar course...
Thanks for the insight into a 57 year old's mind, truly amazing article! Thanks for sharing this with us! Happy Birthday btw.
Thank you!
Wow... . I like your post @denmarkguy. . Your post very good. Thankyou for sharing.
nice one
Well,
Many Happy Returns of the Day!
In some sense, I retired after a career in finance. Yet in another sense, I will never retire because I like to make money. To me, I equate it (rightly or wrongly) as a way of being productive. That is why I love Steemit it so much. I can do what I enjoy and make a few bucks along the way!