Why Your Excuse For Not Cooking SUCKS. Seriously. ಠ_ಠ [6 Min Read]
When I was a kid, my Aunt once told me, “If you can read, you can cook.” That kind of always stuck with me, but more than that, it gave me the confidence to get in the kitchen and just try stuff, sometimes things worked out and other times, not so much, but I learned a ton.
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This post is adapted from one on my old food blog EatThingsMakeStuff. I think a lot of the people who don't cook or don't feel like they "can't" cook are stuck behind a self-erected barrier of entry. So let's take a lighthearted look at your possible excuse for not cooking and I'll tell Ya why your excuse sucks? Yeah? Let's go!
1.”Cooking Takes FOREVRAWWRRRRR!”
Why your excuse sucks:
I get it, you see TV show hosts gliding around the kitchen with pre-prepped ingredients and ovens wielding the fires of Mordor and you roll your eyes. But you know what else takes time? Getting in your car, fighting for a parking spot, ordering, waiting for someone else to make your food, waiting for the check and driving home.
How to fix it:
The truth is that much of cooking can be divided into “active” and “passive” cooking times. Try to look for recipes that maximize passive time. That way you don’t have to miss out on any valuable hanging with your cat/Instagram-ing pictures of your cat/steeming about your cat, time.
The almighty Crock Pot is your friend if this is your excuse. PASSIVE AF.
2. ”I Could Burn An Ice Cube”
Why your excuse sucks: OK, honesty and self-awareness time, ready? I promise it won't hurt too bad. The last time you burned something, did you maybe forget you were cooking for a bit? Did you get distracted, or maybe have too much going on at once? This excuse is like saying “Every time I drive and forget to steer, I crash! Driving sucks!”
How to fix it: Minimize distractions and try not to have too many pots and pans going at the same time, especially if you’re a beginner. Prep everything at the beginning, not as you go and remember, most things can be made in advance and reheated to simplify the process if you're tackling a recipe you feel may be above your skill level.
3.”Cooking Makes Such a Mess!”
Why your excuse sucks: Cooking makes food. YOU make a mess.
How to fix it: Clean as you work. Waiting for water to boil, wipe down the counter. Get me? This will keep your prep area less chaotic AND your kitchen won't look like the aftermath of a Marvel movie fight sequence.
4. ”I’m Just Too Lazy To Cook!”
Why your excuse sucks: If you can invent a robot to feed your gaping mouth, you can cook.
How to fix it: QUIT MAKING ROBOTS AND START MAKING DINNERS!
5.”I Can’t Afford Any Cool Kitchen Gadgets!”
Why your excuse sucks: Lucky for you 99% of kitchen gadgets are complete crap. Also, you don't have room for that garbage, save ya Amazon Prime driver a trip. Trust me you don't need any of it.
How to fix it: Invest in one good knife. That’s all. You can build around that over time but one good knife makes all the difference in the world. I swear if I come over and you have an “avocado tool” and not a knife. I’m flipping tables. ** ಠ_ಠ**
6.”I Don’t Have Any SWEET SKILLZ.”
Why your excuse sucks: Ok Napoleon calm down. No one’s asking you to try out for America’s Next Great Hibachi Chef. Remember, if you can read, you can cook! (I've also heard that if Yan Can Cook so Can You, so there's that.)
How to fix it: Maybe focus a little less on throwing a shrimp into a wine glass across the kitchen and work on your knife skills with that AWESOME NEW KNIFE YOU JUST BOUGHT. RIGHT??!
7.”But, I’m Trapped In An Infomercial!”
I’m sorry. I’m afraid there’s nothing that can be done to improve your situation. You are doomed to being clumsy, incompetent, and desaturated......FOR-EV-ER.
I hope a few of those tips helped some of my repeat take-out offenders out there, and at least gave ya a little laugh. Also gave me an excuse to use that stabby robot gif so everybody wins right?
<3
Dayle
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You cooking up some good posts in here. Good stuff, more people should learn how to cook for themselves.
If this monkey can do it, anyone can.
that monkey looks like hes up to no good. I agree, if there's anything I can do to make cooking less intimidating I will. It's pretty important.
gues its as delicious as it looks.... lol. nice. thanks for sharing @dayleeo
I can cook some stuff lol.
Awesome life skill not to have to depend on someone or have to pay someone to feed you, I wish they would bring Home Ec back to schools. Bummed I never got to take it.
OMG! The sand lot meme got me dying right now.
Yesss. FOREV-ER!!
It's a matter of time / money to me, I can't afford to fail so I get a meal that is 'good enough' and already created for me. Takes less time, makes me happier, might not taste as good or be as healthy but such is life. always a trade off.
Sometimes ya gotta do what you gotta do :)
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This post received a 5% vote by @minnowsupport courtesy of @sammosk from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.
I love cooking! It's like a form of mediation which at the end you get rewarded. Plus energy and love put into food is so important. What's your favorite thing to cook @dayleeo?
Ooh that's a tough one, I'm really not fussed. I cook a lot of my Grandma's italian recipes but I LOVE a good curry with jasmine rice... Indian comfort food man, always sets me straight.
Nice! My greatest achievement cooking Indian food was doing Tandoori chicken :)
woa in an actual tandoor!!?
I wish! I had to use a Tangine in the oven.. It worked though!