Asher, I have more in common than you realize. I had a slightly different, but similar situation with my first wife and 2 adopted kids. I was the one left out of everything, and in my case the ex was very subversive and taught the kids that I was nobody to them. I will not go into details here, just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain as I've been there.

I think the main thing I learned from the situation is that I had to do what I felt was right. Right for the kids and right for me. And there was an answer. I know that my kids have a great opportunity in life and I did a lot to make that happen. They don't really know what I sacrificed for them, but I do and that is all matters. I did the best with dealing with a difficult situation and feel that in the long run that I did it for all the right reasons. One day I hope my story gets told to them so they know just how much I love them and what I sacrificed.

I'm telling you this so that you realize that as long as you do your best with the facts you facing you, then you always are making the right choices. If those facts change, then you can reevaluate. But knowing you for this period of time, I don't think you have a selfish bone in your body. So do not worry about what happened in the past and just focus on doing what you think is best today (and tomorrow when that arrives). You are very much right in that you have to be solid and strong to be able to help others. So don't ever worry about wanting that because it is the only way you can ever help others.

I hope you have a wonderful trip and I'm excited for you to see your little girl! Something tells me that you are going to have a beautiful day that day and it will be one that you will never forget!