365 Days That Count - Day 4 - Apologies

Day 4 - Apologies

I feel like I may have challenged the universe to teach me everyday by starting this “365 Days That Count” journey, so far she has delivered - in spades.

Having been sorely reminded of the work I still need to do in communicating my own truths yesterday, today has offered a lesson on the importance of a genuine apology and how much it has to offer in terms of healing for both parties.

This morning I woke up knowing that I had to resolve yesterday’s miscommunications. It doesn’t matter how right or wrong I may have been, how I should have been received or better understood, I know that I have to keep on trying to better myself, so I knew I had to do something.

I believe one of the main reasons we are sent to live this life on earth is to be perfectly imperfect, come to terms with our imperfections and realise all we can do is try to improve, comparing ourselves to no one but the people we were yesterday.

So I apologised. It wasn’t easy to do so without an undercurrent of sarcasm or passive
aggression, something I’ve caught myself doing in the past.

.

.

To ensure it was received as I intended I wrote it down, making sure each word was genuine.

I realised that in doing so, in humbling myself enough to be truly sorry and not apportion blame, I dropped both of our guards. Someone who would’ve refused to admit wrongdoing for fear of having it held against them was able to immediately apologise in return. I saw how much it meant to them to be given the opportunity to do so and how much it had been
troubling them that they couldn’t find their own way there. A real apology freed us both from a miscommunication that had no right to define our relationship on any level, and now it doesn’t.

It sounds so simple and I suppose it is, but observing myself first being present, making a kind and true choice and then being immediately rewarded with total reconnection felt like growth and I was proud of myself, something I did not feel writing yesterday’s post.

So often things are blown out of proportion because neither party can side step their egos, but it felt really good to be brave, to be vulnerable and in doing so to keep something small, small.

It's been another good day, on many levels and I'm going to bed very late but feeling truly grateful. Wishing you all sweet dreams.

With love,

@daisyd xx