365 Days That Count - Day 313 - Sunny barbecues on the beach 🌞🍴 & anxiety at a wedding that felt like a show.. 🌐 🎦
I made sure I got to set early so I could get a head start on the day. I needed to get back to Cape Town for a wedding at 6pm so I knew I had to be organised if I had any chance of getting there on time.
I put smiles on a few faces with eggs and bacon for breakfast before packing up all my equipment and using the house's for lunch so I wouldn't have to wait for everyone to finish before leaving. They'd asked for a traditional South African braai and Katrine had gone above and beyond to give them all the trimmings. We had boerewors, massive steaks, a freshly caught snoek and some angel fish. I'd picked chives and rocket from Katrine's garden which I used to make green, potato and tomato salads and then boiled some corn on the cobs which I dressed with olive oil, salt, pepper and mum's special cayenne pepper salt mix. The boys helped me with cooking the meat whilst I laid laid the table outside on the deck. By the time everything was ready and together with a few bottles of white wine it was quite a spread!
We were slightly ahead of schedule and broke early for lunch so they could make the most of the beautiful sunshine before flying back to not so sunny London the next day.
Everyone seemed to love the food and after a glass of wine or two it became a very merry affair. I packed up the last of my gear before joining them for a mealie and a sip of vino and then hitting the road. I was on time but there wasn't room for messing around if I was going to get home, shower, change and get to the wedding in one piece and on time. I said my goodbyes and got on my way trying to work out what the hell I was going to wear to a designer's wedding where I knew all of the guests would be dressed to the nines. Thankfully Brandon and Angie were going otherwise I would've known no one which would've made the anxiety I was already feeling even worse. Being a single girl at any event let alone a wedding makes you persona non grata. The men are scared of getting in to trouble if they're nice to you and the women just aren't nice so I was grateful to at least have two friendly faces to keep me company. I threw on a little black dress and jumped in an Uber wishing more than anything that I could somehow get out of it and hide in my house!
I arrived at the same time as Brandon and Angie which turned out to be an even bigger blessing than I could imagine as within minutes I was so anxious I wanted to the ground to literally swallow me whole.
If they hadn't been there I don't think I would've or could've stayed. It blew my mind to think that what I was standing in was someone's dream for their wedding day. I don't mean to sound nasty but it just highlighted to me how different we all are. Everything was so curated and staged, I felt like an actor in some weird art installation theatre piece. As happy as I was for them I literally hated every minute of it. I don't know if I've ever felt so uncomfortable, it was all I could do to keep my shit together and Brandon's cannibis oil didn't make me any calmer or less self conscious. Thankfully there was champagne which made it slightly more bearable but as soon as it wasn't rude to leave I nagged the others to go which finally we did. Walking outside the venue my chest relaxed for the first time in hours! Each to their own but God, that's not my vibe, everyone trying to be trendy and cool and cultured, it was exhausting and I couldn't have felt more like a fish out of water. My little gypsy, hippie, boho spirit felt like it needed to dance in the rain whilst singing at the top of my lungs to shake the feeling of falsity that the wedding had covered me in. I don't think I've ever been so glad to get back to my little nest!
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