I Recovered From Abdominal Ache NowsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #life4 years ago (edited)

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I Thought I Will Not Get Better

Any pain in my abdomen I really cannot endure anymore so I now understand how people with stomach cancer and all that feels because you really could not go on with your life with something inside you that makes you feel ill. If only you could just flick a switch and go out for a few days or maybe for good depending on the severity of your situation that would have been so okay for me to do.

But all that I could do is to just take a mild pain reliever and sleep. I am just thankful that I could sleep because if I try to sleep I could do it unless there are some factors involved like a severe breathlessness. I really could not sleep if I am breathless for that matter that is why I am still angry with my nurse which adjusted my dry weight up which is the reason I am now going home from dialysis still heavy.

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Pain Is A Tangible Feeling Everywhere I go Like A Shadow In The night

Having an extra water in my body hurts my torso when I roll over. It is because if I am a little lighter that problem is diminished. So adding more water in my system just hurts me and with that factor it feels like you are hurting me if you add fluids in my system and that what just my nurse had did.

My mother is also one of my problem regarding my dialysis. She refuses for me to be on peritoneal dialysis because of her fears of infection although that could be fixed with antibiotics. I just wanted that kind of dialysis so that I could control the water outtake from my system because I believe that if this situation continues I will not be able to survive a little more.

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My Mother Is Also A Barrier For My Goals

I know that my situation seems so hopeless but there are factors I have to consider just for me to be able to live longer with a better sense of well-being than just allow these current things to happen like this which is really causing me an ill-feeling every single day.

I will still have to try all the possibilities to make my situation better that is why I am taking my vitamin D3 and K2 believing that they will cause my bones to heal but it will take time because it also took a lot of time to make them weak and metamorphosized me like the way I look today.

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Problems Keeps On Stacking Up And It Includes People

I do not know if I kept on waiting I will see myself like an onion peeled over and over until there is no more. I have to put more effort just to survive and that in itself is not living anymore.. The problem is that my appearance too is making it worse when people are not starting to get serious in what I have to say so I can never win an argument even if I have the right point on a subject.

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