I like this a lot Rok; your story strikes a chord with me, not least because your ambitions and passions past and present, match mine. Also your path, your quest for knowledge and self-betterment, rings true with me, my observations on what you say are as so.

Self-Help Addiction

This is a very real phenomena and is prevalent now more than ever, in the age of the internet, the blog-o-sphere is teeming with help to help yourself.

In itself this isn't a bad thing, my own personal experience with it, is that after miring myself in self-help books and websites, I am constantly reminded that it is action, that is the real self-help. I have read books and articles, which have sprung me into action. Some times those actions fizzle and die almost immediately, others, turn from a spark into a roaring fire.

I have to constantly remind myself, that the process isn't the process, it is the actions that emerge from whatever process you are indulging in at any one time.

Addiction

My hypothesis is that we all have addictive personalities and at one point or other, a side of ourselves is tested; through various self-help techniques, I have managed to reprogram some of my thinking, to pick up healthy addictions and to try and manage them so that they don't consume my being (not always easy!).

I love your style and your subject matter and whilst it is a laying bare of your ego, I'd hope that this catharsis that you are going through on Steem, may lead you onto that higher plain.

I'm pretty sure you must have, but I'm going to ask you anyway; have you read The Diceman? I'm guessing it'd be right up your street :-)

CG