NO!! WE WON'T BE HAVING, get off our backs!

in life •  2 years ago

Why is it that when most of your friends and family have children they want you to follow suit ASAP? I get it all the wife and I that is. "So, when are YOU going to catch up with us and start having your own clan of mini-me's?"

I'm 35, my wife is 36. We have been together for 16 years, married 8. We always spoke of what it would be like to have kids, if we really saw ourselves being parents, and if we could REALLY change up our lifestyles IF it ever happened.

As life progressed, my wife's career took center stage in her life, and in mine, medical problems stemming from injuries from being in the NAVY began. The kind of problems where it makes dealing with little ones nearly impossible. She kept moving up levels in her career, and myself...well...just going to Dr's appointments, physical therapy sessions, etc; kept me busy enough.

Even with these OBVIOUS things going on in our lives, our friends and families CONSTANTLY badger us about starting a family.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't consider it "starting a family". I consider it changing who you are to bring another life into this world and making your life all about their lives..until they don't want anything to do with you when they get older. It's funny, because these same people who insist we start popping kids out are THE SAME PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR LIVES TO US ON A WEEKLY BASIS . Of course, they follow up with " but when it's good, it's GREAT !"

Sorry, but you don't fool us. I get it. Being a parent can be a rewarding choice, but how come all I hear from parents is bitching and moaning? To me, it sounds to like the classic case of "wanting your cake and being able to eat it, too".

It's like 'hey, I made a choice and it's irritating 90% of the time, and everyone else around me has made the same choice - and I see you are still enjoying your lives with no kids - so why don't you join our club so we can all bitch and cry about it together?'

And when they FINALLY realize we aren't going to make that choice, they start to slowly fade away from our lives.


Why can't we just show up to your kid's b-day parties and events without being pestered by the same people who talk of having NO MONEY, NO TIME, NO VACATIONS , and most of all... NO SEX!?

Am I missing something here? Are my wife and I the only ones who feel this way? Do any of my steemians feel my pain? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Do you hear me knocking??? WELL, LET ME IN THEN!

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I'm 33 and unmarried and even my 16 y/o autistic brother was like, "So are you just never going to get married?" Fucking annoying.


Haha. I bet! It's weird to me that most people still live in that "Go to school, get a job, get married and have kids" type of mindset. Times have changed. The world is an even SHITTIER place than 20 years ago. Having kids now is like serving a prison sentence.


Well, it used to be that a lot of kids meant you had a lot of free help, like on the farm and such. But raising kids successfully without them dying is the only part that has gotten easier. Everything else about marriage and parenthood has become more complicated. Marriage used to be a good way to have a healthy division of labor. Now its a total asset management gamble because you're always one divorce away from losing half of everything you own and a life with your children.


Perfectly stated!

Very true ! I love my kid but I also hated the pressure. Moreover some people are just no able to make kids. Imagine their feelings over and over again...


The pressure is CRAZY! We can still have would just make our lives that much more difficult. 10 years ago...maybe. Now, NO WAY!


You need a partner, kids, a house with a garage and a garden. On the other hand you can do all those things to stop the moaning :)


We just ignore it now. But it's still annoying, especially when these same people complain about their lives all the time. Then they say "you have NO IDEA. You have it SO easy!"

I'm quiet!

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