F*ck You Aussie ; your an Arzehole ! ! !
An Almost True type Story from the Land Down Undies . . .
( Yes ; many Australians really Do talk like this )...
...
I do not have any real life friends, why ; because the people i would like to have as friends are simply to busy being economic slaves trying to find enough money simply to live . . .
( My Friends exist only in cyberspace ) - I have no friends on FaceBook,
or Reddit or Myspace or any other BS Social Media Website...
here is a big reason also...
Greg and Friend ...
Saturday ; 11.45 am, G phone rings...
G = G'day ?
F = hey what u doing ?
G = WTF do u want ?
F = is that any way to talk to your BFF ?
G = Fuck You ! u no u r knot my BFF !
F = Well i just thought i would call ...
G = FUCK YOU; do not try and bullship a bullshipper; i already KNOW u r moving house ! ! !
F = well , , , as a matter of fact///
G = Fuck You, there is NO OTHER reason you would call me at midday on Saturday unless u were unconscious in hospital; since u r talking i gather u R KNOT unconscious...
F = well ///
G = Fuck you what does all this involve; TELL ME it does not involve a Refrigerator you Arze-Hole ! ! !
F = well it does actually, i already got the small stuff moved ; u C how i care for my BFF ! ! !
G = Fuck You BFF, tell me it does not involves a flight of stairs ? ? ?
G = did i mention your an Arze-Hole ? ? ?
F = well yeah you did; yep but i got a dolly wheelie thing and i already got the Ute (pickup truck ) and trailer :)
G = Fuck You ; u R so fucking considerate , you have noticed it is like fucking 109 degrees outside ? yes ???
F = Oh yeah , but i have a party tonight so that is why we gotta do it now in the 109 degree heat . . .
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole ; Sweet ...
F = did u wanta come 2 the party ?
G = ??? will YOU be at this Party ???
F = Of Course ! ! !! :)
G = in that case NO Fucking WAY ; your an Arze-Hole...
F = well... are you available to help me move the stuff ? i gotta be out by this weekend.
G = Where the Fuck are all your other friends ? ? ?
F = Oh some of them are unconscious in Hospital and the rest are getting ready for the party tonight ; i am to busy moving to help them get ready for the party, they understand :)
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole, BTW ... what the Fuck did you mean by " stuff " you ARE only talking about a Fridge ?
F = Ah well yeah a fridge, bed, large chest of draws (cupboard) and a washing machine . . .
F = thats why i got the trailer also . . .
G = oh Fuck ; did i mention your an Arze - Hole ?
F = ??? C u soon BFF hopefully , yeah ?
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole, yeah give me 45 minutes . . . :(
F = Kool, i will buy you a beer ! ! ! ! ! :)
G = Fuck You, it is NOT kool ; it is 109 degrees you Arze-hole ! ! !
F = 45 mins ; yes ?
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole i will be there in 45 minutes or i will be hopefully unconscious in hospital ! ! !
F = Do not say that, some of my friends have already told me they are already unconscious in Hospital; that is why they cannot help me...
G = So not only are you a Fucking Arze-Hole your an idiot as well, glad you told me NOW ! ! !
F = Why ? and you know i am not a moron...
G = I called you a Fucking Idiot Arze-Hole, NOT a Moron ! ! !
F = whatever, why did you say " glad you told me now " ?
G = Because i will be ABOVE the Fridge on the stairs so if we lose our control the fucking fridge falls and hopefully crushes you, you Fucking Arze Hole ! ! !
F = why are you being like this, i said i would buy you a beer !
G = Your a Fucking Idiot Arze-Hole and you will buy me a carton of beer for helping you in this 109 degree heat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F = A carton ? i cannot afford a carton of beer, i will buy you a six-pack of beer ( 6 bottles) not 24 bottles.
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole ; its fucking HOT outside i can already feel my hands sweating on the fridge as we are on those fucking stairs . . .
F = fine a carton of beer it is . . .
G = and make it XXXX beer not that cats pizz " Fosters "
F = Fine, u know u r an Arze-hole ? ? ?
G = Takes an Arze-Hole to recognise an Arze-hole !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F = 45 minutes ?
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole, yeah i will be there or i will be dead . . .
F = Sweet.
G = Fuck You Arze-Hole, c u soon...
F = ewe no i Love You, Mate ?
G = Yeah ; Love You to , c*nt !
+++++++++++++
The C*NT word is a form of affection in Australia...
( I so HATE that word but people in Oz use it )
That is really how some Mates really talk to each other in AussiesDownUndies ; TRUTH !
Love You :)
/ Hugz ;)
S T ?
You can confirm that on the internet, I hold the "Social Rank Status"
of ' Mad-C*NT ", that is a form of endearment and respect, almost something like Awesome.
...
In July or August or September or October, even though i HATE that C word;
i WiLL Gain the higher social Rank of
" Full Mad - C*NT "
simply because i deserve this Legendary Status :)
( Confirm all that on Google BTW ; Mate ;)
now i spend time hiding as a Tourist on the OTHER Side of The Planet ! ! !
= no more Refrigerators . . .
...
/ Hugz ;)
. . . Greg showers afterwards and goes to a Party... :)
Arze-hole is not at the Party, he is in Hospital having his broken leg plaster-cast'ed ; Greg dropped a washing machine on his leg, accidentally . . .
( of-course ) :)
Awwww mate. Get a room you two. #bromace
LoL ; no F"k'in way, :)
HE iS an Arze-Hole . . . I KNOW him personally , so ; it is the simple truth :)
/Hugz ;)
U R followed BTW !
...
Not sure how you might take this ; but let us " Give iT the OLD College Try " . . .
YOU are THE Reason ; " Mother -Nature " ' invented ' snails ' with Small Arze-Holes ! ! !
( that is an ATTEMPT at Humour ; BTW , not meant in any ' derogretory ' way ]
[ May your SEEX-Life bee 4ever CLEAN and FREE of SLiME ! ! ! ]
...
Y'know why you Strayans like our NZ Lamb? It's colder here so they clench tighter.
LoL . . .
Ah New Zealand ; the Land where Men are Men and the Sheep are NERVOUS...
/ Hugz ;)