Today might be the last day I spoke to my mom

in life •  last year

     Less than 2 weeks ago they told her she needed a lung transplant and her lungs will not heal after this last bout with pneumonia.  We thought she had a few months to live.  Instead her skin is all black and blue, she can't walk or eat now she's got fluid in her lungs and hospice is on 24 hour care, as of today.  I spoke with her a couple of days ago for about a minute.  She sounded horrible and she could barely get a word out without struggling for breathe.   then I called the next day and she sounded better.  She still struggled a lot and she sounded horrible but she sounded a little better.  That made me happy for about 5 minutes when I realized that they usually get better before they get worse. 

I finally found a plane ticket I can afford.  I'm going there monday.  Chances are she won't make it that long.  She can't talk and she's black and blue all over, in a lot of pain, she's drowning in clean air.  She has fluid on her lungs now and may not make it through the night.  I'm in disbelief that this is happening so quickly.  Send prayers please for my mother to go quickly and painlessly and all of our loved ones that have passed and ones that are alive are there with her to get her through the transition and take away the fear.  

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