Being in a Coma

in life •  last year

                    I've told you a little about PTSD and how I got that and my  Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI).  This post is about being in a Coma and  waking up from it.  I learned a lot about being in a Coma years after I  woke up from it.  I thought it was as it happens on tv.  Someone just  lays there and basically sleeps, unresponsive.  It turns out that isn't  always how it goes.  Most of the time I was unconscious and appeared to  be sleeping.  There were apparently a few times a day within that  two  week time period I would talk to people.  Apparently I conned a lot of  people into giving me backrubs.  That would be a great skill to have  now.   I don't remember the accident itself.  The first thing I remember  after the accident is being in the ER.  I had no idea why I was there  and frankly didn't care.  I remember the nurse feeling (palpating) my  arms for injuries.  She went down my left arm and started down my right.   As she was squeezing I told her she was getting close to a painful  spot.  She moved down a little and it 'felt like' she squeezed really  hard.  I yelled "ow" in pain and pulled my arm back.  She apologized and  told me that she had to feel the area again and mark the spot to be  x-rayed.  I told her ok but she had better do it softer.  BTW, I had a  Traumatic Brain Injury at this time but was clueless about anything and  everything at that point.  I was very angry but I didn't even know that I  was angry.  Anyway she got the the point again and it "felt like' she  did it even harder.  In reality she probably didn't do it very hard at  all but because of my Injuries my nerves were probably in a hyper  stressed mode.  I grabbed her hand off of my arm with my left hand and  pulled it away.  Then with my right arm (that she hurt) I gave her an  uppercut.  I'm not a violent person.  Turns out the  part of my brain  that was damaged tends to make people angry and violent.  That's all I  remember there.  

The next memory I was in a room,  I was floating above  my bed in the corner close to the ceiling.  I remember looking around  and everything was crisp, fresh, wonderful  and new feeling.  I could  see myself.  They'd put me in a straight jacket, I'm assuming because I  punched a nurse.  I looked around and saw the door cracked open.  I felt  very curious, almost like a kid in a new place.  The crack got a little  bigger and I saw a face.   I thought Hey, that's my brother.  Oh no,  he's crying.  I wonder why he's crying.  He came back into the room and  the closer he got to me the closer I got to my body.  I still had no  idea what was going on I just wanted to know why my brother was so sad  because it made me feel sad.  He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the  forehead and at the moment I was back in my body.  I couldn't see,  remember, feel or hear anything.  So that's the end of that memory.  The  next memory I have is when I woke up from my coma.  It was roughly 2 weeks  later and I'd been life flighted back to a hospital back home.  I  remember waking up and this strange lady was scraping something along  the bottom of my foot and I kept pulling my foot back.  She gruffly  asked me B, where are you?  I looked around and it looked like the Great  Grandmothers room in the nursing home.  same color of wall paper, same  floors, tv was in the same spot as it was in her room.  So I said Mercy  Villa.  Still scraping my feet her voice got louder and more angry.  She  said, No B, Where are you?  I again said mercy villa.  She started  scraping my feet harder ( I know now she was checking for responsiveness  in my feet ) and she got louder and repeated the same question.   Frustrated and not really sure what was going on or why she was asking.   I felt like she was being abusive and very rude.  In response I said, I  don't know.  Why don't you tell me where the fuck I am.  She told me I  was in the hospital.  I just remember thinking "huh, that's weird" and  then I laid back down and went to sleep.  The next memory I have is I  woke up,  I had a pounding headache and I remember seeing my mom and a  friend of hers sitting by my bed.  I had my hand on my head and sat up  and said "what happened"  Before they could even answer, something  inside of me told me that my grandparents and my aunt were dead.  Then  my mother explained that there had been an accident and I was the only  survivor.  I laid back down and went to sleep.  I can't recall many  things from my time in the hospital.  I was there for 3 weeks.  I just  remember that everything felt, new, wonderful and exciting.  It was like  waking up with the mind of a 5 year old in a new place.  Everything was  new and interesting.  Everything appeared new, crisp and very clear.   It seems everything was beautiful as well.   It took about 3 years for  things to turn around.  

I do remember that I knew these family members in the room and family friends.  I just didn't remember anything about them or my history with them.   I just knew who they were and assumed we were close.  I recognized the people and who they were in my life.  There was hardly any memories involved with any of it or them.  I just knew who they were and assumed we were all very close.  This story is from one of the first posts I made on steemit.  I thought that since my hiatus with many new followers I'd go back a bit and tell my story so they might understand why I'm on here and am trying to raise awareness for invisible disabilities.  Thank you for reading and following.  

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Thank you for telling us your story. This puts a lot of things into perspective with your PTSD.
That out of body experience must have been very weird.

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It's only weird looking back. At the time I didn't realize it was unusual or weird... it just was how it was. It's almost like everything was erased including reality....
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