Don't let the pessimist view of things weigh you down. Sounds like you just needed to vent a bit, as all these ongoing problems are stacking up one by one.

My problem is that I tend not to worry about the problems I don't know how to solve, so I ignore it. People shake their head at me, when they know they could solve my problem in five minutes with their talents and resources, at something that I have spent a lifetime having no luck at dealing with, with great effort and more failures than they have probably ever faced. For years, I would look for mentors and friends to help teach or rescue me, and I would come up empty-handed. Only I could rescue myself.

Hope you don't actually let your circumstances control your inner mind too much. This chaotic world can really wreak havoc on the emotions, making our attitudes explosive.

Remember why you started these hobby groups, and decide if you're really on target with the spirit of your original intentions. Often I feel like the need for financial rewards for the work we donate, becomes a re-arrangement of our true values. It's like expecting a pet chicken to suddenly lay enough eggs to sustain a family egg business, while the love for the chicken and fellow egg lovers becomes a thing of the past, along with the failed business.