Ok, now it’s time for the plan. I think my children are tired of me reminding them of what I want. I don’t know if they take me seriously so I have to drum it into them!
I’m a very simple person. But I can be complicated in other’s eyes because I’m unconventional. I want things that are not conventional, not the norm in society. I think society is screwed up anyway, controlling everything we do.
I have nothing to my name except my car which is fully paid for so no worries there! I’ve given them the password to my bank account to pay for the simplest and cheapest coffin they can find. It would be wonderful if we could be a bit more unconventional and get my brother-in-law to build me one (I’m confident that he can) with the cheapest wood (it’s going to be burned anyway).
Talking about burn, cremation isn’t cheap. Have you watched the movie Captain Fantastic? I would love it if my family could burn my body in the forest like they did their mum’s. It’s actually quite romantic. But I don’t think it’s possible. Sorry, guys, you’ll have to pay for the cremation 😬 And please put my ashes in a biodegradable box and bury it between Oreo and my veggie patch ❤️
No funeral parlour please. Such a waste of money. Let’s have the wake and funeral at home, the way our forefathers (and mothers) did. So practical. No makeup and I want to be wearing my blue jeans and the purple Snoopy t-shirt Jack gave me.
No photograph. You know what I look like, right? If you don’t you’re not welcome! No obituary. I have a very small circle of friends. They can be informed through our WhatsApp group chat...after the funeral (😁).
I actually wanted a quickie. No need for a wake, go straight to cremation and scattering of ashes. My thought was I’m already dead. Coming to see my corpse isn’t going to help. But I got a telling off. I was being selfish. My family from the UK would want to say their final farewell. So I put myself in their shoes and realised they were right ☹️
I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I’m just being very practical. What do you think?