The Stupid Talk
Ever watch someone do something colossally stupid? Something so obviously stupid that the only thing you could think was, "you'll learn the hard way or you'll die." I think we've all met — or been — a Darwin Award Honorable Mention.
Much of our entertainment is built on the idea of an observer watching others act stupid: game shows, reality tv, crime shows, sitcoms, and even, the news. A constant level of oneupmanship spurs on the stupid to palpitating levels as viewers grip their seats in anticipation.
Here it comes.
Wait for it.
THERE!!!
Well. That's a relief.
Thanks, but how's that helping?
Well, hear me out. Now that we are aware that shit does indeed happen, we can not only let it go, but apparently, we can bag it up, call it by another name, and ship it across the country to our adoring audience. The brown wrapping paper is just part of the allure. No one really feels kinky opening up a box that says: "Biohazardous Materials Inside. Handle with care."
Science teaches us that we can learn a lot from shit, feces, fecal matter, dung, excrement, droppings, you know... Guano, baby, guano! It's not just that microscopic analysis can reveal diet. It's that we KNOW that shit carries diseases. So, I don't understand the thrill that the Scat Scene holds. I mean, aren't we now talking about a whole group of people risking exposure to untold disease, because they've got a poop fetish.
I've heard some stupid shit over the years. But, perhaps, it's time we embark on...
The Stupid Talk
I was in denial. Stupid of me, I know. All I can say, in a sad little defense, I really thought "we are all smart in different ways." Then, I went out into the world. It was beautiful. It was crazy. Scary. Intense. Delightful. Painful. Fantastic. Tragic. So many shades, hues for each person. An overlapping reality where stupids some time cross.
IQs can be measured, they said. I thought, are they relative to culture? Are these tests weighted for cultural biases? Or, are these biased against cultures? Except. Of course IQ tests are biased. The entire point is to measure intelligence in a specific area of knowledge.
I thought, I'll make my own intelligence test. It'd be an incredibly simple test with a couple rules. (Disclaimer: I have not now, nor have I ever been, a behavioral scientist.)
- be a silent observer
- watch for people to make decisions
- label them either "stupid" or "smart" and move on.
It seemed like a good idea.
Isn't that how all stories of stupidity start, "it seemed like a good idea." Until we used some basic logic, perhaps a little physics, and rolled it all into "THINKING SHIT THROUGH."
I'll follow my advice, as I stir this White Russian, and think through my test. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are, by far, way stupider than others. The real gauge of stupidity must come from repeatedly unintelligent actions that result in negative consequences and possibly death. Thus, we've come full circle, back to the kind of stupid that some people celebrate as having been removed from the gene pool.
Absolutely stupid people exist. While I once thought that was the kind of thing jerks said. I now know that I'm Walter enough to say it again: Absolutely stupid people exist.
It is illogical to deny that stupidity exists and we're all guilty of it.
Take it easy, Dudes
Follow me on Twitter: @cosmo_crator
Love it and you are so right. My favourite Darwinian Reward went to a bank robber in America. He had a balaclava on over his head to mask his features, but his forehead still showed clearly to the camera. He had tattooed his name on his forehead! Great post. X
That's the kind of stupidity that is out there.... just waiting to rear it's ugly head. ;)
I so agree, thank you for your article. X
I see phenomenal amounts of stupid every day...
I drive the expressways near Chicago.
LMFAO... I don't doubt that you do. Expressways - that's an oxymoron if ever there was one.