The Importance of Letting Your Kids Be Kids.

I am a father to two beautiful children and wanted to take a moment to talk about what I have learned about the importance of letting them be children.

In the above picture the girls wanted to check out some fish at a local store. Of course it was not at the top of my agenda to stand there in a store why they looked at fish but they have agendas of their own. It is important to remember the only thing that separates you from your children is that you got here a few years before they did.

Of course their are social aspects that put you the parent in a position where you feel the need to control and micromanage their every movement. I feel this most in the mornings getting the oldest ready for school. If she is not on time everyday than I get in trouble with the state and it can lead to some serious issues.

I am sure some kids get out of bed, get dress, eat breakfast, and are ready to head out the door on time. She is not one of those and you have to tell her everyday every little thing she needs to do or she will just sit waiting for a command. Not sure what the source of this is, she seems to like school ok, just does not have any concepts of punctuality or time.

Personally I cannot blame her if she does not like school, I was not a big fan of school growing up. If I had to do it over gain I would most likely drop out or be home schooled after elementary school. This is my personal experience though and I am sure some enjoyed their K-12 education.

I find my youngest being intrigued by the silliest things, if she is not in danger I do my best to let her explore. This takes a lot of patience and inner dialog reminding myself she is just a child and I have nothing better to do. All the time I find myself trying to do something that would be more entertaining to me, this is selfish and I am sure some parents do this.

Someone mentioned on this site that aligning your energy with others is the best bet in moving forward. If you try to change someones direction with brute force it will not work out and only chaos will ensue. This has happened several times for me as a parent, in some cases it is unavoidable. As at some point the store will close and we cannot look at fish all day.

As mentioned before you cannot look at your kids as equals because you have more experience. The superiority stops there though, these are just tiny people with minds and desires of their own. You may be bigger stronger and can impose your will if needed but that does not make it right or justify your actions.

During this shopping trip a random stranger mentioned how blessed I was to be having so much fun with them. She had a daughter of her own with her and mentioned how she might never see her again. The father in this case was taking legal action for full custody with no visitation.

I felt in a weird spot as the conversation proceeded and did not know what to do. Obviously you want to try to help but I did not want to know all the details of what his justifications were. Especially when I would only be getting one side of the conversation.

I instead turned the conversation into how I dealt with my parents splitting at a young age. Along with the following custody battles that pitted me at the middle between both parents demonizing each other to some extent, though either would admit it even now. Expect @mojojo to elaborate on this a bit in the comments if she catches my post. Bottom line is anytime a kid is used as a weapon in a marital struggle everyone losses. Vengeance is an ugly business, even when disguised as doing what is best for the child.

Luckily @aprilangel showed up and rescued me from this lady in an emotional crisis. She did not fair much better than I did and when we met back up I could feel the negative fumes still surrounding her. I truly wanted to help her but was just at a loss as to how, without getting karmic-ally involved that is.

It is important for me to not make the problems of others my own. I am a fixer so if you have a problem than I have a problem and will do my best to fix it. This at times gets me in trouble because some individuals are meant to experience certain things in this lifetime and if you captain america'ing everything that train is going to hit you instead every once in a while.

In closing for you parents and expecting parents, your child is a person, one that you do not own. They are here to experience life and all of its ups and downs. You are a guide, not a master, the more you can work with them the easier that journey will be.