Why Number of Divorces are Increasing? | Evolutionary Psychology on Relationships

Hello everybody! This will be my first post in steemit. I will share the knowledge which I found mind blowing to you and hope you will enjoy throughout the readings.

This will be the first post of Evolutionary Psychology on Relationships  series. I will post the evolutionary reasons for couple of daily life relationship struggles. The implications of Evolutionary Psychology is not a fact but the ideas are rational and correlated with daily life. 

Let's start with the conclusion. The reason why divorces are increasing is men act like a boy in a grown up body. 

I will be straightforward.

Starting from the Industrial Revolution, men raise by their mothers in their homes and raised my woman teacher in their classes. They take the same education with girls and they are brainwashed with the idea of "woman-man equality".

Before the Industrial Revolution boys who were spending their times with their dads, were learning how to be a man directly from their dads, uncles or grandfathers.

After the Industrial Revolution, fathers have started to go to factories and offices and kids have started to go to schools. Since the father arrives home exhausted and late in the evenings he couldn't find time to spend with his children which caused damages to father-child relationship. There was an absence of a father role model so, boys were not aware of how to behave as they growing up plus girls couldn't learn what is an "ideal husband". This has been happening like this for the last 150 years in the Western countries.

Boys can't experience an "inituation ritual" which can be still seen in primitive societies. With the time, body develops and becomes mature however; the mind couldn't enter the mature phase. For girls, becoming a teenager still means the "inituation ritual".

The man who hasbeen raised under these conditions maries at the age of 20-25 and move from his mother, directly to his wife. 

Man expects unconditioned love and emotional support from his wife, like his mother treats to him. Woman tries to treat him with compassion and love as he asks for with good intentions however as an instinct, she starts to look the naive guy as an "insufficient man". After a while she can't trust to him and she can't treat him like a man and this decreases the compassion, love and sex in the relationship. 

The mother concept is unique.  Woman only will love their children in a way the man dreams and expects. Woman can't love someone besides her child like that. They don't have program for that indeed, evolutionary, being in love with a man is a disadvantege for a woman. For her kid, leaving the x guy and being with y guy (for example x guy is a war prisoner) is an evolutionary advantage for a woman. Being in love with the X man forever and like the love she provided to her kids is a disadvantage. In conclusion, woman can't love her man as the way man expects. Expectation of man is the problematic point in here.

%90 among the couples who have been married for couple of years, sex rates are so low, even in the unhealthy levels. Man holds on to masturbation like a high-school boy. Woman doesn't care since the man in the home doesn't attract her. She can't search someone else because of the environment pressure. She either dedicates herself to her kid or her job or shopping or hobbies, etc.

Man tries to trade lust by complaining "look, I'm doing this and this for ourhome, I'm such a nice man, we have everything but our bedroom life is dead."

However, the strategy which might work between two guys, makes the man seems like a bone begging dog in front of her woman's eyes. 

A request like "look, I'm doing this and this for our company, I'm such a nice man, I make the company earn more but my salary isn't enough." would make your boss increase your salary but the man who uses the same phrase a woman is now a trash for her. However, as rationally thinking about it, they are both same - I have something that you wish for and in contrast you have something that I wish for. 

The man who tries to make a deal for sex is like a guy who falls into the sea. And this guy has no chances to climb back to the ship! He immediately should end the relationship/marriage, think about what was his mistakes and restart with another woman.

In the entire nature, women are reactive, men are pro-active.

Some says, in dating woman asks for the first invitation and then man makes the move. In reality woman gives responses to man's masculine features. Man already gives signals by specific signs of his body language without doing anything. The posture, walking, look, charm and how other people treat to him already tell about the guy for the woman. Later, woman sends tempting signals to man. If man realizes the signal he will show his interest and etc. The key point is, men are proactive and women are reactive.

Man should take the action and run the show. If man stops giving effort to the woman and change his behaviors, try to improve himself (not only starting gym and loosing fat, indeed it is a part of this) woman will automatically react to this and attracted to his man again.

If his woman doesn't react because her lust is completely dead for the guy, since he still increased his sexual value, he has more chance to find another partner and be happy. 

In a summary, divorce has no interest with social environment, jobs, money etc. They are the secondary effects.

Divorce is a universal phenomena which can be seen in various families. Even celebrities have similar problems in their marriages. The desire of a woman is an evolutionary mechanism, it won't differentiate between a celebrity and a normal person. 

We are trying to neglect the evolutionary process which held for millions of years and solve the problems with 40-50 years old social constructs.

It can't work...