All about a Traditional Chinese Funeral - 中国墓葬文化

Steemit Friends:

As a Chinese person born and raised in the US, my knowledge and experience with Chinese traditions is very limited. Recently my Grandfather passed away and I just now returned home from the funeral. I wanted to take the time to share with all of you the traditions when it comes to a Chinese funeral. Although it is a somber occasion, it is a beautiful way to demonstrate a family's love for the deceased.

As I have grown older, I have begun to appreciate the traditions and cultures that I at one time did not familiarize myself with. My fear is that these may be lost and forgotten as a result of my entire generation being born and raised in the US. Not only is this a memory for me to fall back on, but my way of sharing with the community my first hand experience of something that I myself was not familiar with.

Chinese funeral traditions may differ some from family to family, but some basic traditions still apply and are very similar throughout. Below is an account of the traditional ceremony we followed based on the Chinese Buddhist tradition.

The funeral ceremony traditionally lasts roughly 49 days -- the first and the last seven being the most important.

Preparations and the events prior to the funeral

The coordination and preparation responsibilities falls on the children of the deceased or the younger family members. In this case, my father was the eldest son, so he took the lead in a majority of the preparation. This is said to be a part of the Confucian principle of filial piety, "a virtue of respect for one's parents, elders, and ancestors." [Source]

The day the funeral is held is of great importance. In our case we consulted my grandmother who verified using a Chinese Almanac to determine the best day to hold the ceremony. Once my grandfather was prepared, dressed, and the date decided, we made arrangements for the wake in which notices and invitations were set out.

What to wear

Guests and family members should at all times and at a Chinese funeral wear somber colors like black. Bright and colorful clothing, especially red must be avoided as these colors are associated with happiness. Even though my grandfather was above 80 and this was a celebration of his life, it is still a sad occasion. For most of the days I visited the funeral home, I wore a black suit with a black tie.

During the wake and funeral

For 5 days my grandfather was placed at the funeral home in order for family and friends to visit and pay their respects. We would get up early in the morning and stay at the funeral home until late evening until closing to keep my grandfather company.

I covered my grandfather's portrait to honor my grandmother's wishes

During the wake, family and friends brought and delivered elaborate flower arrangements which were placed all throughout the room. Each arrangement was decorated with ribbons and messages written on ribbons identifying who they were from. Also placed were several fruits that my grandfather loved to eat as an offering - these were replaced daily to ensure they remained fresh. Candles and Incense were also offered and placed along with a chant box to provide comfort.

On a daily basis, the first thing we would do upon arrival was to light and offer incense to my grandfather. It is customary to bow 3 times while offering incense.

Every Visitor was given a red envelope with money and a piece of Chinese candy which they needed to immediately spend and eat once they left the funeral home. This is for good luck, as the person has just attended a funeral, which is generally considered bad luck.

During the last day prior to the funeral, we had a Buddhist monk and his congregation lead a chant and prayer. He also led this prayer on the day of the funeral itself. It is said that Prayers, chanting and rituals offered by the monks help ease the passage of the deceased's soul into heaven.

On the day of the funeral, we filled my grandfathers coffin with folded joss paper and paper money in order to ensure a safe journey and ensure that my grandfather has sufficient income and all that he needs or wants in the afterlife

A friend of the family officiated the ceremony (It is a Chinese superstition that the person officiating should not be related to the deceased because it is considered bad luck for the family members.) Following a 30 minute prayer and a brief message from the monk, my father and my uncle who was the 2nd youngest shared their eulogies - One in Chinese and one in English. We then had a few guest speakers including guests and key officials from China.

Once all the speeches were complete my father and his 3 brothers were asked to offer a bouquet of flowers and a basket of fruit to my grandfather which involced them raising the offering above their heads and bowing 3 times to show respect and honor my grandfather. The flowers were to be placed with him in the coffin and the fruit were considers an offering from my grandfather to the family - these were to be eaten by the grandchildren - myself, my brother, and my cousin.

Once this was competed, all the sons and daughters of my grandfather were asked to unfold a blanket made of a beautiful fabric and cover my grandfather from the waist down. This ensures that he is protected and warm as his spirit moves on. Once complete we all said our final goodbyes and then as the casket is closed we all kneel down to honor our grandfather.

The pallbearers - composed of 8 people - usually the sons and any close relative or friends then pickup and prepare to carry the casket to the hearse. Since my father was the oldest of the sons, he was in charge of leading the group and carrying my grandfather's picture. I followed (as the eldest grandson) carrying the incense. Following me were the 8 pallbearer's. The monk would lead the entire group to the hearse chanting the entire way. Each of us wore white gloves.

After the funeral ceremony, a funeral procession to the cemetery is held. Generally loud music and noise should be made, however in this case we had a police escort with loud sirens and lights. Cars filled with family and the hearse came first followed by friends and other guests. The loud noise is to frighten away spirits and ghosts.

Once we reached the cemetery, the pallbearer's were to carry the coffin to the burial site. The gloves are removed and placed on top of the coffin to be buried. As the coffin is lowered, the monks again chant and offer prayer as incense is lit and placed in front of the grave. Everyone was given a rose to place on the coffin as well as a farewell gesture. Each family member is given a handful of sand to throw into the grave before the coffin is covered. All the flowers gifted during the wake are then placed above the grave until the ground settles.

As the ceremony ends, bags of joss and spirit money are burned to provide more income for the deceased as they pass into the spirit world.

The final piece of the first 7 days is to have a family meal including friends and guests who joined the ceremony. It is believed that everyone should go to a crowded public place to ward off any spirits or ghosts that may have attached themselves and to honor the deceased.

Traditionally, children and grandchildren such as myself will not cut their hair for 49 days after the death. My grandmother will also make a trip to Shanghai to complete the 49 day ceremony with family and friends following a similar ritual. The family will also visit Buddhist temples during the 49 day period to continue giving offerings to my grandfather.

I would like to dedicate this post to my grandfather. Thanks for reading.

Please let me know what you think in the comments below