What do you do for a Living?

People who ask strangers what they do for a living when starting a conversation should be exterminated from the gene pool.

I hate these people so much.

"What do you do for a living?" isn't even what they are asking. The real question they are asking is one, more, or all of the following:

Hi, what is your socio-economic status based on an outdated metric so I can determine wether or not I can gain anything by talking to you?

Hi, I'm a one-dimensional asshole who needs to put everyone in a neat little box. What box shall I put you in?

Hi, I'm an asshole who always talks about their job. In fact, I haven't had a conversation with another human being that wasn't about my job for over a decade. What I do is ask people about their job and then transition the conversation to my job. It's awesome.

Hi, I don't know how to start a conversation so I will use the most cliché conversation starter ever invented no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

Hi, I'm boring and I talk boring.

Hi, I'm a single female with credit cards.

Asking people you don't know “what do you do for a living?” is rude, insensitive, and dumb. 

The people who ask this question are using an outdated and incorrect metric to make judgements on people they don't know. Judging someone based on their form of employment is a lazy and inaccurate way to get to know them.

By asking this question you presume that their form of employment has something to do with their level of intelligence, personality, status, and stores of resources.

Not everyone is their jobs and not everyone likes talking about their jobs.

Take my friend Charlie for example. Charlie works odd jobs, lives cheap, saves money, and travels every year to Nepal to climb mountains. Charlie is well read, has the most amazing stories of survival and hardships, and is one of the most interesting people I know.

If some asshole meets Charlie at a social event and asks him “what do you do for a living?” Charlie would respond “er, I make coffee at a cafe,” or “I carry bricks for brick people.” Actually, Charlie would just walk away saying nothing because he's a badass. However, my point is, a persons form of employment can, and usually does, have nothing to do with that persons personality.

Asking people what they do for a living can make them uncomfortable. Not everyone wants to talk about their job because not everyone is proud of their job. Some people are doing a job they have to do rather than a job they want to, or are capable of doing. By asking these people “what do you do for a living?” you end up making them feel like shit because you're an asshole that can't start a conversation.

Furthermore, NOT EVERYONE HAS A JOB. Some people are unemployed due to circumstances out of their control. The last thing these people want to do is explain their life story to a complete stranger in an awkward social setting.

Every time someone asks me “what do you do for a living?” my asshole clenches up so tight punching them in the face is the only way to relieve the tension. How are you supposed to tell one dimensional idiots “I bought Bitcoin when it was cheap and now I pretend to be a writer. Pretending to be a writer involves drinking copious amounts of coffee, chain smoking, and staring at a blank laptop screen occasionally adjusting the waistband on my boxer shorts–the only item of clothing I wear.”

I'm a socially retarded introvert, but even I know the mechanics of a good conversation. Allow me to teach you “what do you do for a living?” assholes how to have an interesting conversation and make people feel good.

Don't ask boring questions like an idiot. Make open ended statements and listen to the other persons response. When your conversation partner responds, they will give you the topics of conversation they want to talk about.

Take the following example:

You not being an asshole: “I saw this movie on the weekend and it was great.”

Your conversation partner: “I never have the time to see movies because I'm so busy with work.”

This is an invitation to inquire about your conversation partners job. Do not make any inquiries about the persons job unless they mention it first. By mentioning it they are signalling it's a topic of conversation they are ok talking about.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THIER JOB THEY WILL.

IF THEY DON'T THEY WON'T.

DON'T FORCE THEM

Take this other example:

You not being an asshole: “It was raining so hard on the weekend I got drenched.”

Your conversation partner: “I just got back from a holiday and it was raining the whole time I was away.”

You not being an asshole: “Instead of telling me about your job, how about you tell me about your holiday since that's obviously what you want to talk about.”

MAKE STATEMENTS AND LISTEN TO RESPONSES.

THEN...

PICK UP YOUR CONVERSATION PARTNERS THREAD AND TALK ABOUT THAT

DON'T SAY “WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?”

 This will make them feel comfortable, enjoy the conversation, and maybe even like you.

By doing this, you will be more effective connecting with people, be able to get to know people for who they really are, make more friends, and not be an asshole.

So, um, what do you do for a living?