The Myth of "The Forever-Happy-Switch"
We all yearn for the day when we can finally be happy, and our problems no longer trouble us. We imagine that when this day comes, we'll no longer slip back into anger, sadness, or disappointment. The house, the partner, the job, the kids, the amount of free time we have... It's all as it should be. Finally, we can just be happy. We'll go from a state of dissatisfaction, to being happy with our lives, as if a switch has been turned on. Yet, this day will never come. The circumstances that must arise for "The Forever-Happy-Switch" to be flicked will never be present. That switch will never be turned on, because it doesn't exist.
Happiness is a high. To expect to always be happy is to expect to be blissfully stoned for the rest of your life. Happiness is a data point far above your emotional baseline. It is unreasonable to expect that one day you will finally be perpetually happy, no more than you should expect to feel rage or sorrow for the rest of your life. You are not a robot that can have happy chemicals poured into it once "The Forever-Happy-Switch" is flicked. You're a human being that will always be a complex mosaic of emotions.
Perhaps, a more noble and realistic goal is to strive for unshakable contentment. While contentment can include happiness from time-to-time, contentment is closer to a state of satisfaction. Contentment involves being okay with things as they are, and accepting the present moment for what it is. We can be connected with contentment, even while we experience anger, sadness, and disappointment. We can tell ourselves "It's okay to be angry". "It's okay to feel sad sometimes." "I can accept this disappointment." Contentment allows us to tell ourselves that things are acceptable as they are, and outside circumstances needn't change for us to feel settled in our lives. When contentment becomes the objective, suddenly our bouts of negativity become blips on our emotional radar, rather than signs that our project of building everlasting happiness is on the brink of failure.
Wanting to be happy forever is a foolish dream, and all human beings will fail at, no matter how determined we are to find the mythical set of circumstances that will flick our Forever-Happy-Switches. Contentment is a state of being that is always available to us, so long as we are willing to accept reality as it is. Contentment allows us to be okay, with things not being okay.
Choose contentment today, rather than waiting for happiness to find you tomorrow.
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Hey @chrismccron, great thoughts to be sharing, especially while so many people are going through new or perhaps renewed motions in this new year. (And happy new year to you, too!)
I've noticed that the more I'm able to reclaim my own energy from life's activities and busy-ness, the easier it is to be in my inward focused self, where I find the greatest sense of stasis.
I tend to witness that people who are rushing around externalizing for happiness and fixes are also extremely energetically congested from all of their time online and constantly playing with mobile devices.
When we can put it down, it causes us to face that space where the "fillers" are usually being jammed down. It's interesting to see how people utilize that space.
Ah yes. The "pacifiers" that we all have. Once we stop using them we can find out how we are doing with out all the external fillers. That's a tough thing to face for many people.
Thanks for commenting!
That is definitely the truth! I had a nice exercise in put it down over the recent weeks, myself. It was liberating.
Hah you're right Chris. I'm very disapointed there's no such button haha :P Sometimes it's so difficult to feel at least calm, nevermind the happiness. I agree with your point- that contentment comes with acceptance of the reality. Very insghtful and cool post!
Thank you, @Shinyforest. I think our emotions are so tumultuous that we need to learn to expect them to never become truly settled. They will always change. Accepting that sooner rather than later can add in a layer of contentment that isn't accessible to us when we are just trying to get back to being happy.
Beautifully put in words, @chrismccron.
Calm happiness is probably more achievable than bliss, but even that can't be forever. It's almost like content, but with some extra positivism ^^
Life has lows and highs.
Yes, weathering those highs and lows is key! It's a tricky thing to do. Thanks for stopping by @kristyglas!
You are so right.. people including me do not choose contentment usually..
It's hard to remember to stop resisting what is happening and accept it. I am not following my own advice this morning lol I am grumpy, and looking back at this post is reminding me that I need to stop resisting where I am at.
that was very insightful. thanks for sharing. understanding the power of just being content with life brings about a certain sanity to living as well :)
Hey @calebleejl. Thanks for commenting. Always nice to see you returning to my blog. Finding contentment in your circumstances is a balancing act for sure.
yes. somehow this has been the main theme I've been seeing around Steemit. hahaha!
The happiness is a relative term, what one makes happy, the yet to another means nothing.
Yes, there is a huge element of subjectivity. I think that means we can be more malleable with what makes us ultimately happy. We think that only very specific sets of circumstances will make us happy. But in reality, there is a wide range of scenarios that can produce happiness for us, but we become very rigid in what we want.
That's why I argue that contentedness is a more realistic goal than happiness.
your outstanding contribution
Thanks for the support.
@originalworks
You got a 7.69% upvote from @yourwhale courtesy of @chrismccron!