The Pigeon Dad and other Volunteering Stories

The telephone rang on Monday afternoon.
“Hi, is it Chbalk?”
“Yes, please”
“This is Maria from Smile of the Child. Would you be available for Thursday afternoon for a case in Ag. Sophia Children’s Hospirtal?”
“Yes, I am available between 18:00 and 20:00 as usual”.
“Ok, his name is Constantine, 5 years old, at room 208. Please do not forget our conduct rules while being with the child”.

Caregiving at hospitals is considered one of the most difficult positions when volunteering for the Smile of the Child; mainly because of the psychological burden and because of the rules one has to follow. One should never ask or talk about the conditions that brought the child in this situation; volunteers know that in most cases children have been taken away from their family upon the order of the Public Prosecutor due to very very serious issues in the family environment. You should not connect with a child in any case; there is an effort that volunteers do not see the same child many times to avoid such connections. No treats, no references to personal information, no this, no that but all for the good of the child. So, it is only two hours to gain his/her trust, provide some care, smile, and then leave and know that you may never see him/her again. Their stay in the hospital is temporary until a proper shelter is found for them.

Afternoon 1

Constantine was sitting on his bed in a room with two more beds. He was alone and drawing on a piece of paper.

“Hi Constantine, how are you? My name is Chbalk and I am here to play with you”
“You are old and big; how can you play with me?”
“I am big, because… I am an eagle and you are a pigeon, and I could chase you in the corridors and you should try to escape and not be caught by me. Be fast and flexible and hide and get away. What do you think?”
He looked at me with his big brown eyes, smiled with my eaglish grimace and replied “OK, let’s do it.”
For about an hour we were playing in the corridors. I was the funny clumsy eagle falling on the walls, stumbling all the time and he was the pigeon running and laughing at my strange “flying”.
I needed a rest, to take a breath.
“OK, little pigeon, let’s stop and rest for a while, what do you think?”
“No, no, there are some more mountains to fly over and some more gorges to fly between”.
“I am about to catch you, so let’s forget about eagle and pigeon for a moment and I will show you some karate moves so when eagle approaches you, you can make a quick turn, confront him with some kicks and punches and you go on…”
“Yes, I like that, will you show me. Please pleeeease?”
And I showed him some moves and how he would turn to hit me when I would be about to catch him in my claws; and I took my time to rest while he was practicing the moves; and then we started again; and he had a really good time while I was falling from the skies after his kick with my arm-wings rambling all around.

It was 19:30 and it was dinner time. The nurses called us back into the room for his dinner. He didn’t want to eat anything. I tried to persuade him to eat his food.

“Come on Constantine, we have played for hours, you should gain some power because the eagle is waiting for you.”
“Well,… I don’t want you to be the eagle. Ι would prefer you be the pigeon dad.”
Silence. The moment you clamp your teeth, struggle to keep your tears and turn your face away… My eyes met the astonished sad faces of the parents of the sick children in the same room. We all understood and no one could speak. I found something silly to say to drag his attention to something else.
“Let’s draw the adventures of the fox and the rabbit, what do you think?” He didn’t respond; with his glance at the floor he took his drawing notebook and two pens and just gave them to me…

At 20:00 o’clock my time with him was over; I stayed for 15-20 minutes more but I should go. The rules again, do not hug them when you leave, do not insist they say bye back to you, do not tell them that you will see them again. Just wish them the best, to have a good night, wave to them and leave…

This is the moment that bursts into tears…

Afternoon 2

The case was about a 12 year old girl named Sophia. I changed clothes at work; rushed out and into the car and drove to the hospital. Sophia was not in the room and when I asked the nurses I was told she was probably in another room with some girlfriends. Well, I had no idea what to do with one little girl, not with more of them...

Sophia was talking with her two friends and gave no attention to me. A fourth girl was sitting with a caregiving lady of another organization and was reading something.

“Hi girls, which of you is Sophia? Ok let me guess the names of all you. Mine is Chbalk.” After trying all the strangest names I know the ice was broken and they were laughing. Anna was 9, Mary was 7 and they all were taken away from their families. I noticed a light ball they had by one of the beds.
“What is that? Shall we play volleyball?” I proposed.
“Are you crazy, It is cold and about to rain outside” Anna responded.
“Let’s play here in the room; there is some enough space, don’t you think?”
“You are crazy for sure. We will break the window glass if we play in here”, Sophia said.
“I am a tall guy girls, I will stand in front of the window to protect it.” They smiled (probably with my “tall guy” statement) and got the ball. We invited the fourth girl that was with the lady; we stood in a circle and played for quite some time with no accidents.

19:00 o’clock, dinner time. Sophia was eating her food and writing the name “Nikos” on a notebook. She told me that he was a boy from another room that they had met and she liked but he was taken somewhere else and she didn’t know if she would see him again. “Sophia, I think that if you write his name again and again in a row that forms a spiral the possibilities of meeting him again may increase”. She hung her tongue out at me and started sketching. I took some time to exchange some words with the lady from the other organization. She was a teacher and she though that teaching the children on their beds was the best she could do. Kids, need to play, to laugh but mainly to forget, even for some moments; that was my experience and what I told her. Then little Mary noticed my mobile smartphone.
“Wow, that is a big one. Can you see youtube with this?” she asked me.
“Yes, I can, what would you like to see in youtube?”
She replied together with all other three about a Greek young pop-star I had never heard before and which I will never remember again. They were all crowed in front of the mobile and enthusiastic.
“OK girls, music is nothing without dancing”, and the next moment the room was hosting a girl party with me smiling and trying to move with the rhythm and the lady looking surprized and tired at the situation she was caught in.
“What about a choreography” I suggested, just to avoid nurses stopping our party. I showed them my moves – some of them karate… again- we put everything in order; we rehearsed with no music, then with it and we had a new girl group ready for the scene.

It was 20:00 and I had to leave. Little Mary send me a kiss and smiled and all of them promised that when I was back they would be better with the choreography. They waved hands at me while I was leaving and then returned to each other’s company. At least for the moment they had each other.

This is the moment that feels light ready to fly, light although night.

Afternoon 3

Ahmed was a 16 years boy who escaped Syria on foot together with his 10 year brother and their 5 year cousin. They managed, through Turkey to land on a Greek island and from there to be transferred to mainland. They had relatives in Sweden and the Sick Children Hospital was just an intermediary stop where they could be medically examined and taken care. None of them was speaking English.

Ahmed had a mobile phone and used a translating application to tell nurses if they needed anything. When I got there he withdrew knowing that there would be someone with the little boys and he could rest. He went out at the balcony and he was either holding his head between his hands or texting with his mobile.

I had no way to communicate and talk to them. Yet, I had brought balloons with me, so I blew some of them and just started to send them upwards to reach the ceiling. I invited the two boys to do the same and showed them that we should not let any of the balloons touch the ground. When they followed we were like three goalkeepers keeping our floor/goal from the shooting ceiling. After a while, the younger one – the saddest of the three - was also throwing the balloons to me and his cousin. The other one stepped on one of the balloons and broke it, so the rest of us followed. It was a game of improvisation with no standard rules.

19:00 o’clock, dinner time. Nurses found the chance to interrupt us and bring the food for the children. Silence. I was asking them with nods and movements of my arms about the food and if it was tasty. But they were either ignoring me totally or laughing with me.

The psychologist of the hospital that supported them came in and asked them to draw a picture; whatever they had in mind. They had seen her before and possibly they had drawn pictures again because they took a paper and started immediately.

It was about the time for me to leave but I was curious on what they would draw. Ahmed drew the flag of his country with a note on its freedom. The little one painted a body with blood on the arm and an airplane shooting with its gun downwards towards the body. I was frozen; the psychologist shook her head, gathered the pictures and left. I didn’t follow the rules. I hugged them one by one and I wished them good luck with their trip to join their relatives.

This is the moment you understand that our world is in big trouble and needs our help.

P.S.: If you have some time – e.g. 2 hours a week – DO volunteer for a cause. It will be a unique experience.