I grew up Catholic and realized pretty much the same thing when I was still in elementary school. As the nuns and the priest daily told us we were all going to hell. I remember I'd had enough when after one Easter vacation, I'd visited my grandmother's Baptist church and the priest yelled at me in front of the whole class saying I was going to hell. I didn't understand how I could go to hell for going to another church that spoke about the same thing. Even though in words I said I'd let it go, it took much longer than that. We don't realize how ingrained Christianity or religion period is with our psyche. It's hard when you admit to yourself that there may be no one to catch you at the end of this journey. However, you realize there is something, even if you don't yet have words for it, but it's far more freeing than what you walked away from.