paper person

I'm a paper person. Like I consist of a napkin that creeps away from rain and tears. Paper. You know, it falls apart under your fingers and nothing remains but clods. It does not even hurt.
I live.
Every morning I wake up, open my eyes and go forward. Sometimes it's easier, sometimes more difficult. Today I got a lump on my forehead. I fainted again ... and my head on the floor. It does not hurt.
I forget about my pain every day. Someone is much more painful than me, I know.
Renal colic. I take pills. It is no longer sold without a prescription, but nothing else helps. And crying. For some reason lately I cry a lot. It will pass, yes? It's just a cloudy early spring.
The omission of the kidneys. You can not jump. they say, the kidney can not stand ... and still need to gain weight. Yeah, so she had a lot to gain a foothold. How can I grow fat if I do not have any appetite? And there is no money either.
It does not hurt anymore. I'm used to it. In a month due to illness. It's all right.
Not enough breath. My heart aches and my lips turn blue. And in the kidney the extra vein. which compresses it. Left with an extra vein. right - down. They have the same symbiosis. Equilibrium. Yes.
And the back hurts.
Almost does not hurt already, honestly.
Paper people do not break, they. creep under the fingers.
I do not have the strength. There are almost no opportunities for anything.
I can not dance, but I'm dancing. Anyway, I'm dancing.
The back is torn to pieces, the kidneys are terribly sick. With my imagination it seems to me that sometimes something inside can break off and there will be no more this pain.
I forget about people. In memory, the same holes as in the body.
I want to reach all of them and that they reach me ... El, Tan. Leka, Masha, Dasha, Joo. Lion cub, Medley ... Excuse me if anyone forgot ...
no strength.
And the blog seems to be not so necessary.
Something like this.