My life

You can paint life with bright colors, fill with smiles and laughter.
You can fall in love and give happiness. Can...
But the brighter the picture - the blacker the negative. But on the other hand.

I never managed to grow up gradually - day after day multiply experience and grow.
The times of stagnation, when nothing moves anywhere, and permanence becomes a synonym for life, are periodically replaced by moments of sudden take-off on the stairs, when several steps are immediately overtaken at once - barriers that seemed simply insurmountable in the last 2 years have fallen.
The ladder is up steep and curiously twisted, and she can not see the end - and no one to step on the last step - a man is not allowed to become God ..
But are these steps worn by thousands of feet in Paradise?

I now live a quiet life, I read Henrik Sienkiewicz's novel, drink green tea and smoke ladies' cigarettes, listen to old rock and watch TV series under the buzz of a computer, watch films about the Second World War and think aloud about the past: about what was and would have been , if..
I sleep little, eat less and constantly wander somewhere mentally - in general I submit all the signs of a depressed person.
But this is just waiting for the imminent spring and, as a result, a new pain.
it's just a premonition of even greater emptiness and new old terrible dreams - midnight delirium, which doctors call the lack of sunlight and vitamin deficiency.