My 3 children have never spent a day in school in their lives.
My boy, Isaiah, turns 12 this month. Grace is 8 and Olive is 5.
Today would be Olive's first day in school! She absolutely does not want to go to school! And I am glad that I don't have to send my "baby" away.
I have added more and more reasons for homeschooling/unschooling over the years.
Initially, I just didn't want to sent away my "baby" to school at age 5.
I had never had him in daycare. The only babysitter that he ever had was grandma. I loved being with my child, and he loved being with mommy. I am a very "attached" mom. I breastfed for an "extended" time, co-slept with each child until they felt ready for their own bed. I'm a stay-at-home mom. My mom was at home for me, and I want to do the same for my children.
When Isaiah was a baby, I picked up a used book at the 2nd-hand-store called, "Better Late Than Early" by Dr. Raymond Moore. This book explained why children should start school at a later age when they are psychologically and physically ready for formal schooling. He suggested looking for the signs that they are ready for school, and then enrolling them in the age-appropriate-grade, like grade 2 or 3. This book was written before homeschooling became well-known, and many years after this book was written, Dr. Moore started advocating for homeschooling.
When Isaiah was Kindergarten age, I got some really simple workbooks and attempted them. He refused to color anything, and 75% of the curriculum seemed to involve coloring. And he couldn't hear the sounds that they expected; like "f" make "fish". After one or two weeks I stopped, and said to myself, "Oh well! It's only Kindergarten." The rest of the year we used no curriculum.
It turns out that school would have been DISASTROUS for Isaiah. He is very "right-brained". He is a hands-on learner and learns on a different schedule than the "left-brained" school system. He is extremely bright, in fact I suspect he would be classified as "gifted" if I ever were to get him tested and diagnosed. But he is what they call twice-exceptional (2E) because his reading skills have come much later than school would expect. But you know what? I found out that is NORMAL for his learning-style and personality. And when he is homeschooled I have no need to put him in a box and force something unnatural on him.
Yes, I strongly believe that school would be Developmentally-Inappropriate for Isaiah.
He would probably be given labels like ADHD even though I know that he is completely healthy and normal. When you read the definition of ADHD in the psychology books, the definition revolves around school. In summary, ADHD is any child that can't sit still when they are forced to do boring or irrelevant stuff in a classroom. To me that is normal child behavior and certainly does not need drugs/medication to treat it.
This E-Book helped me immensely to understand my Right-Brained Child. "The Right Side of Normal" (www.TheRightSideofNormal.com)
LOVES TO LEARN -- HATES TO BE TAUGHT
This sure describes my right-brained son! Left-brained children are more compliant. Right-brained children are more resistant.
Quote from eBook, The Right Side of Normal:
"For the highly right-brained children, complying with a mismatched environment isn't even an option. Resistance is a tool often used to communicate that something isn't working."
Yes, so he might even have been labelled "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" (ODD). Just because school was environmentally-inappropriate for his learning style and personality.
Isaiah has already known for a couple of years that he is going to be an electrician one day. Heck, he has already gone to "Google University" and learned more about electricity than most could imagine. Three years ago, we met an electrician who was in shock about what Isaiah already knew, and who told us that he hadn't learned those things until he was in Electrician Technical School. The thing is, that Isaiah has had a chance to delve fully into what interests him, and it is amazing what he has learned given the time and space.
My two girls are excelling as well. Maybe I'll talk more about them on another post.
My son's close friend has been asking me to homeschool him too. He did not want to go back to "prison" today. His learning style is similar to my son's, plus he gets bullied really badly.
I wish that more children had the opportunity to experience Life Learning like my children do.
All the best Steemsters!
Let me know your thoughts.
Your children are so blessed. And, I see two of my grandchildren in your story.
Thank-you Mary.
Good to see that you've had some serious voting power delegated to you. You deserve it! Keep fighting the good fight!
Thanks Papa-pepper.
Yes it is really nice.
You-re welcome!
Your story reminded me of my daughter so much. In school they always separated her and labeled her, put her in spec. ed classes.
My wife and I feared sending our daughter to school this year as well. But homeschooling seemed like such a daunting task. So this year we have her in a hybrid school 3 days at school, 2 days online from home.
Hoping to test the waters maybe next year we will transition to full online from home!
It is good to hear that you are trying to help your daughter by trying a different approach.
I would really suggest that you read, "The Right Side of Normal". Assuming that she is right-brained, it will really help you understand how she learns and if the school that she is in does not take the right approach for her.
It can be daunting to be the one responsible for your child's education, because you fear that you will fail him/her. But remember that the school system fails many, many children and is no guarantee -- the only thing is that you can blame them instead of blaming yourself if it doesn't seem to work out. There are no guarantees in life or parenting, but I think that it is always a good idea to let your child be themselves and pursue what they love. So what if they become financially successful but hate what they are doing? Wouldn't it be better to be a happy hair-dresser who feels like she is contributing to the world than to be a lawyer who dreads going to work each day? Not that homeschoolers or unschoolers can't become happy lawyers if that is their love and desire.
All the best to you and your daughter!
I agree with the "ADHD" symptoms being normal for many people. schools don't do a great job of teaching for the student's type of learning. The only downside I can see about not attending a public school is seeing friends less often. I'm sure they still see friends through sports and activities though
I remember when Focus On The Family Radio had Dr. Moore on (it was a replay) and the take away for me was, essentially, don't send your child off to school just when they are becoming an interesting i.e. speaking, mobile able to engage with you, their parents. Especially after years of diapers, sign language and the "terrible twos" etc.
Dobson and Moore talked of how we need to allow the child to come to a worldview that is grounded in a happy home and trust in their parents i.e. they are not going to be thrown out of the nest with all the anxiety that come with a child being torn from their family at a young age. Why not wait until they are secure in their identity and their position in their family.
They, and I, did/do not advocate "no schooling" but education by parents or managed by parents. They did/do advocate for delaying the structured and static formal schooling that is prevalent in U.S. schools then and today until the child is ready and hungry with a vision for the "why" they go to school.
Dr. Moore's book, Better Late Than Early, did advocate for what people now call "unschooling" but only up to the age that the child is developmentally ready to start formal schooling. So that would be age 8, 9 or 10 depending on the child. He didn't mention homeschooling at all in the book or about teaching them anything formal at home. He said to just let them be children until you put them into the age-appropriate grade. Now that he advocates for homeschooling, he says that some children should not start formal schooling until age 12. I think it really depends on the child and what their learning style is. I have been unschooling so far (although I dabbled in little bits of formal teaching). My son will be 12 this month. He is extremely right-brained and so that pushes out his age of starting formal schooling to the latest norm. I will see if or how he progresses to doing more formal work. It is a journey for me, that I modify based on each child and what is best for them.
I see your point. I should have been more clear (comments are limited). I guess I used a "buzz-word". By "no schooling" I meant turning them over to nature without any parental supervision e.g. "Lord of the Flies" or something. I would just distinguish the point that every parent, even while "unschooling", is teaching. Manners, being good, chores etc. are all education and instruction and I lumped that in with "school" and that is definitely different than formal school.
You are right. He did differentiate "formal" education or school. I think, if I remember correctly, that he had evidence that showed children who waited until 10-12 could make up all the years of k-5/ k-6 in a very short time. Maybe two to six months. I think that is because when kids hang around their parents all the time, they just learn and they are confident in their position and love from their family.
Yes. Unschooling is not unparenting.