Sometimes I Wish I Could Take The Blue Pill Every Day

Not THAT blue pill, but the one from the Matrix. If you are unfamiliar with the scene I am talking about, the main character, Neo, is offered two pills and told to choose one in this iconic dialogue.

“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more.”

I often feel like Neo in my everyday life, looking around and seeing people with no care in the world or any desire to know the truth of the world around them. They have no interest in geopolitics, wars and injustices going on in the world, or simply how their own government is slowly increasing its reach into their lives every day. Ever since I was a child I wanted to know what was going on in the world and just how everything worked. Unfortunately it lead to me realize some harsh truths at a young age and most likely added to why I can sometimes be pessimistic about outcomes. I saw all the wars and conflicts going on in the world and realized that the people who were being slaughtered in their beds at night were no different than me, just had a bad luck of the draw.

As a child, these things don’t particularly make you care free optimist for the outcome of human civilization, and for me in particular lead to many worries and much anxiety growing up. It also doesn’t make you the life of the party and a fun person to be around, so I had to learn to keep these feelings inside and pretend like nothing was wrong. I knew the reality was that my life would likely never be affected directly by these things going on in the world yet I still felt a tinge of worry that they were happening and no one around me even cared.

I started to wonder if being ignorant and just moving through life without a major care in the world would make me happy. Im not the most unhappy person, but I haven’t had a feeling of great child like happiness in a very long time. Some days I wonder if I could just take the blue pill from The Matrix and I would wake up, like everyone else going to their jobs with the biggest problem in their life being whether or not the girl they liked, liked them back. I have come to the realization that I never had the happy childhood or school experiences that many people talk about having, especially in college where, despite having friends, never felt my age.

Part of me wants to be part of the sheep that I often joke about in my articles in a way that makes them seem inferior. If they are happy I would gladly be willing to give up anything to be like them. I think maybe our purpose in life is just to be happy and im wasting my life away by worrying about things that have no direct effect on my life. The truth is though, im not much different than the sheep I usually joke about. I have a slightly above average intelligence , but nothing that would make me an asset to the human race, like billions of other people out there.

Im sure everyones perspective and worries are equally as important to them, as mine are to me, and the grass is always greener on the other side, but too often do I feel like im missing out on something. If given the chance to trade lives today, I would almost definitely do it. Maybe I would be happy as a dog with no worries. I know other people feel this way, which is why I wrote the article in hopes of sharing with you that you aren’t the only one that feels this way. Sorry if it was a bit rambly, I usually do that when Im talking about person stuff, but this has just been on my mind recently. I want to end my article with a single quote from one of the characters in The Matrix “I know what you’re thinking, why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill”.