Some People Deserve Second Chances Others Don't
I have found that one of the most important skills someone can have is correctly evaluating people and what they bring to the table in terms of relationships. Not all people are created equally and many of the times they arent worth your time. Our time in this life is precious and not worth spending with people who again and again act in malice and exhibit traits of a bad person. These toxic people eat up large portions of your life and you have to realize it sooner rather than later.
In every relationship there are defining tense moments and it is at this time you have to realize that sometimes people deserve a second chance and sometimes they dont. This isnt only in personal relationships, but also in the business world if you are a boss. Making mistakes is common, but if a worker doesnt learn from his mistakes and continuously makes the same one, they cant be trusted. It is the person who realizes they messed up and tries to act better in the future, that you want to keep company with.
I have a friend ill call Jenifer and she has been best friends with a girl ill call Rachel for almost her entire life. However in adulthood Rachel stopped acting like a friend and started becoming a toxic person. Jenifer was always on the phone trying to help Rachel, but Rachel didnt want to be helped and ultimately the relationship fizzled out. My friend tried to keep it alive for years, but there was nothing she could do, that time she spent on Rachel was wasted. During that time again and again Rachel acted in a toxic manner and tried to bring my friend down on the same level with her. It was four years before she finally figured out it was time to cut her loose.
Rachel might have deserved a second chance in the beginning, but after making the same mistakes over and over again, she refused to change for the better. Sometimes it is out of control of the person who is acting in malice, it might be another life event that is influencing them, but other people cant be dragged down by them. In many cases they need to be left to figure things out on their own rather than trying to help them. When they realize changing is the only viable solution, is when they can finally move forward.
I honestly do believe that in time people can change, given the right circumstances. I think we all mature and change based on our life experiences, multiple times in our lives. We too could potentially become the person who doesnt learn from their mistakes and isnt worth being helped. I believe that we need to sort that out on our own, or with someone like a therapist who can help. Each relationship is different and must be accounted for differently , but they should all be a net positive.
-Calaber24p
What if you love the person that keeps messing up? Can you really say no more chances? I struggle to forgive a person who keeps hurting me, but I can't seem to stop forgiving...
Time is precious and we don't get it back. You must have the clarity of mind to know when a relationship has ended and the strength to let it go.
Each person you encounter teaches you something about yourself and life itself. Take the lesson and move forward.
You'll be better for it.
Time is the most precious commodity we have which I believe is the reason wasting it on people unworthy of yours is a shame.
You only give a second chance ... a third and a fourth can consume your life
yes, I agree with u. very very nice.
What an interesting and thought-provoking piece that you have posted, @calaber24p. This post actually strikes a chord with me and I can relate to it. I happen to know and be friends with a few toxic people that I have I have known for the past 19 or so years. Not only are they toxic they use people and are downright nasty when they don't get their way. Everyone always tells me they think I am crazy because I will accept their apologies and do my best to move on. Here recently I have come to a conclusion that I am probably better off without these people in my life and have been slowly trying to cut ties with them... This post made me think about it. Thanks for this post!
Sometimes you have to cut people from your life even if it feels wrong or like you are a bad person, but if they are hurting you and your state of mind, you have to help yourself first and foremost.
You are right on target with that advice, @calaber24p. The younger me wouldn't have agreed with that recommendation or even with myself today.
Oh, I forgot to mention that sometimes people can change after a while but it's only a very few. The ones that do turn usually I find that the things they've done to hurt others or whatever the situation maybe is when they were pretty young. The younger a person is, the higher chance they have of growing and becoming a different and better person.
I do find that keeping a constant reminder of how people are even if they have changed helps prevent the chances of history repeating itself...
Yah, this is true reality of life.
For end, here is an extract from my self-help notes:
But yes, sometimes people who fail us too often don't deserve a second (or third, or fourth) chance from us. And not giving them that next chance might just be the best thing for them - they might finally understand that they must really change.
Here's a quote from a text published by my non-Steemit friend :
Cheers!
I think every situation is different. People deserve compassion and help if they are open to it. The people I talk about are often people who want help but are unwilling to change their attitude.
Second chances are only for people worthy of it. Now, deciding who is worthy and who isn’t might be difficult because everyone have their own opinion.
I believe that is a person makes a honest mistake, and really is showing signs of doing it better, then that person deserves a second chance. Is the person doesn’t show any interest whatsoever, they that’s it. No second chance.
This is such a good lesson for everyone. I've seen so many people stay in toxic relationships and unfulfilling jobs just because they don't want to give up. To be fully honest, I was in a relationship myself for years after giving second, third, and fourth chances. Eventually, I had to end it but it could've been done sooner.
Even if we give people who are undeserving of second chances and more, I guess we could look at it positively and realize that we learned something in the process. Finding out that people take you for granted is a bitter pill to swallow.
Im glad you learned something in the process, too many people will keep falling for people who make them unhappy. Hopefully you are a better person for it now.
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