Can Beneficial Emotions Like Compassion And Empathy Hurt Us In Our Modern Day Society?

Being human, means most of us have emotions we often are unable to control, usually they are ones that most people think are good to avoid like, anxiety, anger, hatred, however, sometimes in the world it is the good emotions like compassion that can hurt us. Im not really sure where my aptitude for compassion and kindness came from, growing up we were taught to live that way, but my other three siblings don’t seem to feel the same way as me on certain topics. Many people would say that having these emotions are a benefit to society, but at the same time they can hurt you in various situations.

Despite what many millennials believe, being a man in society today is tough. We are expendable, often no one offers a hand when we fall, and we have almost no emotional support. Our relationships with other men most of the time does not extend to very deep emotional one and many guys only have one or two good friends they can talk to about their emotions. Even friends I have had since I was a child I can only share so much with before I cross a line.

Our society has taught males to hide emotions and be tough rather than compassionate. Those that are too compassionate during school years can be labeled as weak and become targets. Despite all of us having emotional needs to attend to, we push them down and suffer internally because its not okay for us to share them. This is why many times I had a hard time fitting in with other groups of guys in high school. I played basketball, but I was never really friends with the people I played with. They would joke around and insult each other, or get in each other’s faces to establish dominance, but this was never my personality. I could put on a face and play the game, but it always felt weird. I was always friendly and outgoing so there were times where I had friends who went into more popular social circles, but I always stayed where I was with my small group of unpopular friends because they weren’t like other guys and I could actually talk to them.

However, compassion and empathy has hurt me the most in the way that I see the world. I can pretend to put myself in another’s shoes and even people who have committed monstrous crimes I can feel bad for. I understand why people like gang members who murder commit the crimes they do. I watch documentaries where people who have killed 10 people talk about how they saw a gang as the only way out of the poverty stricken lives they were living, and I start to feel bad for them. They are cold blooded killers with most likely no conscious themselves, but I still feel sorry that they had to live a life that I don’t think anyone would really choose if given the choice. I usually keep these feelings to myself because if I were to come out and say that I feel bad for these criminals, people would look at me like I was crazy.

As someone who is going to either be entering some sort of business field after graduation, I know most likely I am going to have to put a face on for work every day because emotions will get you trampled on. Because we live in societies where psychopaths hold managerial positions, you are often asked to perform tasks that aren’t technically illegal but morally bankrupt, for example targeting old people to invest in certain products that will make my employer the most amount in fees, even if they could get a better return elsewhere. Our workforce is where I am most scared about having my compassion work against me, especially in an area like New York City, where people are extremely cutthroat. I don’t want to become labeled weak by my employer, but I also don’t want to exploit people, however, if I choose the latter option I won’t have a job and be able to support myself.

We are constantly making the choice between what is morally right and what is the most beneficial action for ourselves to take and im sure many like me can get caught in the crossfire. I want to be a more compassionate person, with kindness and empathy, but if we want to aspire to what our society defines as “successful” , we have to abandon those thoughts. Im interested to hear about experiences some of you have had, or just what you feel about my take in general. I haven’t experienced the world as much as many of you, so if you have any advice, definitely give it.

-Calaber24p