Synthetic Happiness

I've given up most substances. I used to love nicotine. Now I can't even stand the thought of it. I used to love alcohol. Now when I drink it I feel dead instead of full of life.

It's interesting to me - when I drank alcohol, (and I was a heavy drinker for fifteen years) I thought I felt more alive. I thought it was the most fun thing that there was on the planet. And now when I bring up to drinkers that I was surprised to learn that I feel less alive, and I feel numb when I drink, they stare at me blankly and pretty much tell me that that's why they like it. That's sad. Life is such an incredible thing. When we're 100% focused in these bodies, and all of our energy is present, and our bodies are healthy and full of life and all of our cells are alive - it's incredible.

Clarity feels amazing. True health feels amazing. It saddens me to think most people have never experienced what health actually feels like. Most people are so doused in alcohol (and you would be surprised, drinking one night per week is enough to do it) that they can't experience clarity.

My dad said to me the other day that I would be shocked to know what people are really on. And I understand why people are dousing themselves in order to be able to live. This shit is hard. But as long as we're dousing and dulling ourselves, we're not capable of figuring it out. We're not capable of thriving.

Is synthetic happiness even happiness? I would argue that synthetic happiness is a numbness. Unfortunately we live in a society that's so ill that numb does feel better by a mile.

But we have to make our own way. If you're reading this, you have to come out of the stupor. Substances dull your life force. You've gotta wake up. You've gotta live. You've gotta face all the horrors. It's not that bad. Ok, yes it is. But it's also thrilling. And you feel alive. And feeling alive feels like the best thing in the world. Facing shit makes you live. When you face shit, you say yes to life, and you transmute the shit into life and into something beautiful. Your brain rewards you with rich good-feeling chemicals that are authentic and real and sustainable and life giving.

What you get is something beyond mere happiness; you get joy. The joy is boundless, and it overflows to everything and everyone around you. It looks for people and places to spread to. Your body comes alive with energy and health and abundance.

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