Remembering Fitz

February 2014 - I was nearing the end of a rocky marriage, and I was in a very dark place. I had dealt with suicidal thoughts in the past, so I knew where I was headed when I found myself drinking a bottle of moscato every night. I knew I needed something to keep me alive - a reason to get up every morning. I had always had animals growing up. It was not until I got married and moved into an apartment that I found myself without a dog or a cat. I had tried several times, but my then-husband was not a fan of pets. Finally, as I felt myself being dragged further into this dark pit, I decided that come hell or high water, I was getting a kitten, no matter what he thought of it. So I perused Craigslist and found a couple needing to rehome a new litter of kittens. I drove out to meet them and stared in awe of the box full of siamese mix kittens, about 4 weeks old. I played with and held each of them, looking for a sign or some kind of connection to help me choose one. This little boy kept coming back to me and playing with my hand, so I decided I was taking him home. He refused to stay in the seat and would not calm down until I put him on my chest. He rode like that the whole way home, about an hour drive. He just slept and purred. I fell in love with him instantly and knew that I had found something worth living for. That little kitten saved my life.

When I got him home, he explored the apartment, but he never went too far from me. If I went to another room, he cried until he found me. Most of the time, I had to carrying him - washing dishes, vacuuming, everything. He became my best friend, my shadow. I named him Fitz after my most beloved fictional character, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.

About a month later, I decided that Fitz needed a sibling to keep him company while I was at work. So I found Oliver - aka Ollie.

The day I introduced Fitz and Ollie.

They quickly became inseparable.

About a year ago, Fitz got very sick. He stopped eating, he wasn't playing or begging for attention like normal. He just wasn't acting like himself. We took him to the vet and they confirmed that he had a really serious infection. They gave us antibiotics, but it was too late. He passed away in the middle of the night. I was devastated. I couldn't understand why him... He was my everything. But I eventually came to terms with it when I realized that he came here with a purpose. He did his job, and he did it well. He saved my life, and he healed my heart. I will always remember him and be grateful for the time I had with him. There will never be another like him. He was as special as they come. I miss him every day.