Reflections

Life Reflections

Hard at work this morning, drinking my water, eating my walnuts, cleaning out my email boxes, deleting my spam and learning my Steemit do’s and don’ts. And there is was Mom’s image staring down at me from my post-it-note riddled wall. It’s been 6 years since we lost her and now I find myself feeling a longing for her smile, her hug, ever her hard criticisms.

It was not my intention to fall back into the pain of my loss of her. “Snap out of it!!!!” I yell at myself. I had to catch myself before I took that horrible trip back to her hair falling out, her not being able to reach her doctor, her chemo bag leaking, her crying because the youngest of her children are choosing not to visit and her friends leaving her side because it was too hard for them to bare. “Snap out of it!

I finally snap out by reminding myself to remember the happy times. Like the times we played jacks on the front porch and competed in double-dutch when I was ten, and the day she taught me to walk up the stairs on my hands when I was twelve like a pro. And our last week together experiencing her singing Tina Turner’s Proud Mary. My mom told me to find her Tina Turner CD, I found it, she put it on. She could hardly stand, but she grabbed a hair brush and started with “You see, we never ever do nothing nice and easy. We always do it nice and rough.” She threw the brush down and continued “So …we're going to take the beginning of this song and do it easy… then we're going to do the finish rough!!!” She growled. She turned around with her back facing me and said, “This is the way we do 'Proud Mary'” She started dancing like Tina Turner singing “And we're rolling, rolling, rolling on the river” It was awesome! The song ended she fell on the couch and we laughed for almost 5 minutes. She was worn out, but we were laughing hysterically.

And just like that I’m smiling again. So, I decided that this walk down memory lane would be a happy one and my first post on Steemit.

I wrote this poem as a reminder that I am passionate and have an infinite capacity to love! .... And most importantly that it is okay to cry.

I gave it to my mom superimposed on an image of me that only she could understand. It was for my mom our last Mother’s Day. This memory is a nice ending to what could have been a sad day.

My Tears

I have learned to appreciate my tears...
My Tears are a mirror of my Love,
my Faith, My Hope, My Passion.
My Tears were given to me as a form of expression,
my miracle that I Refuse to take for granted.
My Tears are the beautiful emotional perspiration's
of my Hearts work.
My Tears are the cleansers of my Soul,
A Natural Therapy, My Hearts Message...
Beautiful are my Tears...
So, when you see me cry,
be blessed that I Feel,
that I Love, that I am Alive.

Thanks for reading!