a thought about a memory
I remember being younger sometimes, when time allows me to I think back on irrelevant little interactions from my childhood, a recent memory was something that sat with me for a long time.
It can be hard to realise what one is doing or think of the consequences of ones actions when very young, its like a planet flying through space with no purpose (this seemed to be an ongoing conundrum for me growing up) but I recall one day in primary school when I heard that we would be doing a vote for team captain for the sports team I sprung up in excitement!
I jumped up straightening my posture in attention, I wanted to be that captain and in that second put my hand up to put myself forward. The teacher noted my name and interest then wrote me on the list, we were a class of grade 5's maybe. this exact place of the memory isn't in my mind.
we had the next few minutes to discuss over the classmates who we wanted to be captain. Everyone looks at eachother with the urgency of importance and excitement of open interaction-but not to the task at hand but to the opportunity to have an extra playtime. I see the two kids left to right of me after the class was addressed and again jumped to their attention, vote for me I vote for you I say twice repetitively to both with a pale sure in agreement each time as reply. I run over to Nadia and her friends, a group a 4 or 5 school friends this time.
I am not sure if the classmates or myself even knew what I would do if i won, the role was one of celebrity of types I imagined.. I looked to each girl individually in the group and said the same thing. "vote for me I vote for you?". Each person was experiencing their own reality and as children maybe none of us could have grasped the concept of power but unintentionally cheating my way into a captain position with cheap talk had succeeded in plain sight, I say unintentionally because even though through my naive excitement had incited the voting without thinking I was still surprised when my name was called.
How could have everyone in the class voted for me? surely someone would have heard me repeating the words I had manifested in my excitement to succeed? I think this serves as a warning really how people individually and at mass are vulnerable to deception, it is natural for humans to socialise and the risk to trick and deceive is everywhere, even in the most naive expressions of excitement.
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anyway thanks and upvote if you feel like it!