Restless in the night

I've been battling my own demons as of late. About 8 months ago I was diagnosed with panic disorder and at the same time realized what I didn't want to admit but, that I'm likely an alcoholic. I went through a phase of extreme addiction with lorazepam and getting off was something I didn't know I could do. Withdraws for me was uncontrollable racing thoughts and major headaches and the driest eyes ever. Slowly my panic and anxiety lessened and I'm at where I am today more functional than before. Still I can't drink now without seriously not feeling right after.

How did I get this way? I was truly broken. Yes bad things have happened in my life but somewhere along the way I was giving up. 3 years exactly just living without a purpose on auto pilot. Now I realize I can't ignore my emotions forever and bury them. Our lives keep tally of everything we do and will test our character eventually. Then you have to remember the things you did do right in your life. What are you really good at? Stop practicing so much on things you're bad at. Focus on your strengths, because that's what makes you unique.

An object in motion is harder to stop. Be a force in your life. Don't make huge unattainable goals. Make small goals for the week like low hanging fruit that you can grab when you need it. Don't be afraid to seek help either, If anything be proud you're taking a step forward! Hugs to you all..

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