Self-esteem and her pillars

Self-esteem is a positive or negative assessment that a person makes of himself to some degree from emotions, actions, beliefs, behaviors, or any other type of knowledge of himself.
The self-esteem or value given to each person by themselves is fundamental to the mental and physical well-being of any person since the acceptance of themselves is reflected in every aspect of life.
Since we were born, our life determines conditions for us to be esteemed. We will only be treated and cared for if we are obedient, if we sit upright, if we eat as we wish, if we study, work, if we are personally and professionally successful.

What is self-esteem?
In the view of psychoanalysis, self-esteem is directly related to the development of the ego. Sigmund Freud used the German word Selbstgefühl, specifying two meanings: a person's awareness of himself (feeling of himself), and experiencing his own value about a system of ideals (feeling of self-esteem). This “feeling of self-worth” that Freud describes is self-esteem.
The perception of ourselves from our ways of acting and thinking is what generates feelings of inferiority or superiority, self-criticism, self-censorship, narcissism or selfishness. All of these characteristics directly influence our experiences, well-being, and our quality of life.

The pillars of self-esteem
Some analysts propose a psychotherapeutic approach to low self-esteem based on what they call “the four pillars of self-esteem”. These pillars are:

1. Self-acceptance
   A positive attitude towards yourself as a person. It includes elements such as being satisfied and in agreement with oneself, respecting oneself, being “one with oneself” and feeling at home in one's own body;

2. Self-confidence
   A positive attitude towards their own abilities and performance. It includes the convictions of knowing and being able to do something, of doing it well, of being able to achieve something, of enduring difficulties and being able to do without;

3. Social competence
   It is the experience of being able to make contacts. It includes knowing how to deal with other people, feeling able to deal with difficult situations, having flexible reactions, being able to feel the social resonance of one's actions, knowing how to regulate distance-proximity with other people;

4. Social network
   Be connected to a network of positive relationships. It includes a satisfactory relationship with the partner and the family, having friends, being able to count on them, and being at their disposal, being important to other people.

The first two pillars represent the intrapersonal dimension of self-esteem, the other two its interpersonal dimension. The treatment consists of different exercises that aim to enable the person to perform each of these steps from the different pillars. But before starting work on the first pillar, there is a preparatory work dedicated to the formation of self-love or self- care (in German, Selbstzuwendung), which takes place in three steps:

1. Becoming aware and aware of your own emotions, feelings, sensations, bodily and psychic needs;
2. Relate respectfully and lovingly to yourself;
3. Take care of yourself.

Exercises include relaxation techniques, mindfulness, techniques for dealing with the internal critic and becoming aware of the positive parts of yourself, and many cognitive restructuring and self-reinforcement techniques, typical of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

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