What have I done with my life???
It feels like yesterday when I graduated from school, looking ahead at a bright future and had a very positive outlook on life. It really wasn't that long ago, actually, it has only been 13 years and so many things have happened since then. The friends I had in school (obviously) all have families now, each one to their own, each one living in their own little world. I don't have contact with all of them, but I see some of their updates on Facebook once in a while...they all look so old and it's scary to think that, to them, I must be looking old too.
They say wisdom comes with age, but so does gray hair and wrinkles.
I've been looking at myself in the mirror lately, like:
I've had some gray hair for some time now and cover those up quite fast, but I've started to notice some lines going on in my face lately too. I've just hit the "Flirty 30's"...how is that even possible?
I haven't even achieved all those things that I was looking forward to and already I have gray hair and wrinkles!
Okay, so this looks and sounds a little over-exaggerated, I know, but seriously? What have I done with my life in the last 13 years? I got married, had 3 children and moved to another country, just to sit here, clean house and change nappies. The little town we live in only employs local Arab women so what is a girl to do?
Perhaps the universe has another plan for me but I feel that I have too much potential to just sit around waiting to die of old age one day. I will be finishing my degree soon, so that's at least something to look forward to, but then what? I am no longer in the mood for this shitty little town in the middle of nowhere that has nothing to offer!
With that being said, I can honestly not tell you that the last 13 years have been all that bad. We had the opportunity to travel, see new places, learn new things and the best of all, we were blessed with an income and three beautiful children!
That makes me proud to wear my stretchmarks with pride, at least!
My wife's friend is a beautiful woman in her late 40's. She volunteers teaching underprivileged and disruptful children. One of the boys in class said to her recently, "You hella damn hot, but I can count the lines on your face, 1-2-3-4-5, you got 5 lines."
Sounds like you're doing fine with your occasional grey strand. Enjoy your 30's, they're the best.
Hahaha. Thank you @wakeupsheeps.
What a lovely post my dear!!! Very passionate and heartfelt!
The mere fact that you asking yourself this question is a sign that you are on the road to fulfilling your purpose in this life. If you weren't questioning it, then be worried.
Although - I also have to say - do not down play what you are doing... motherhood is not something to be dismissed. You are shaping little minds... what an honour! Don't ever forget that!
I love the way you write - it reminds me of myself.
Much love to you xxx
Thanks @jaynie. It's a privilege to have them and I can't imagine life without them.
I can relate xxx My little boy is simply the air I breathe!
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When thoughts like these arise it's always best to do exactly what you've done and shift to a perspective of gratitude. Motherhood is a huge role and it seems that you've had many adventures as well.