If you think you have problems...think again!

Gosh!

Late this afternoon I was sitting flat on my bum on the concrete floor next to the Rugby field, watching my sons practice with their teams. I was minding my own business as always, hitting thousands of mosquitoes as they sucked the living daylights out of me, when all of a sudden a young mother made herself comfortable right next to me.

I don't really mingle! I'm the type who would sit flat on my bum on the concrete floor because there is nobody else sitting there.

"Hi!" said the very chirpy voice next to me. "My name is ?" (I say ? because I don't remember her name)

I turned my head towards her and with a slight smile, trying to make it obvious that I do not actually want any company, I mumbled "Hi. Belinda," introducing myself like a robot.

She looked like a spring chicken with pink highlights in her hair which meant only one thing: endless talking!

"So, which one is yours?" she asked, looking all cheerful as if she just won a prize.

"Oh...uhm...that one. And that one. Oh and that one."I pointed them out.

I swear I could see her jaw dropping a bit. "Whoa, you have three children?" she asked surprised.

That's a question I often get asked so I did not even reply, I just nodded. This is usually the stage of a conversation when I excuse myself and choose a direction to walk in, trying to think of something to look busy with, but today there was nowhere else to go and nobody else to save me. It's not that I'm shy or anything, it's just that I don't like talking to strangers, mostly because I don't know what to say to them. Some people enjoy it but I simply just don't!

She kind of reminded me of 'Rhea Perlman's' character (Matilda's mother) in the movie "Matilda"...

Source

Those of you who have watched the movie before will know exactly what this character is all about, and those who haven't will have to watch it to catch my drift...this one, however, seemed just the much younger version of her. At first, I thought she might be 19 or younger, but it turns out she is 22...anyways...

It started off as casual small talk about the school and rugby mostly. She babbled about the weather and how cold it was getting seeing as winter is on our doorsteps. I don't ask questions. When asked a question, I keep my answers short and to the point and often end up just saying 'yes' or 'no' and make the correct sounds when needed. My mother did teach me manners so even though I'm not in the mood for chit-chat, I do respond and try not to be a potato at least.

All sorts of questions started popping up. Where do you live? What do you do? until I was eventually forced to bring up the fact that I've been living outside of South Africa for a couple of years and that I'm just here temporarily. These questions, to me, are private questions, but as she got the answers out of me, I noticed how her braincells were starting to juggle ideas in her head. She must have felt as though she knew enough about me to start sharing her whole life story with me in return.

I don't do life stories very well, especially when they're problematic. Many people listen thoughtfully and know the right things to say to motivate others, but I am just not that type of person. I have to think deeply about my reactions before doing them and I don't just blurt out whatever comes into my head. I have to really think something through before I speak.

Today was a potato moment for me!

I don't know her first name but I know this:

1. She left school early because she became pregnant.
2. The father of her baby was a drug addict...and she didn't know :/
3. She raised the baby by herself for 4 years.
4. She then fell in love with a 53 year old man and married him.
5. She carries a weapon around her waist when she cleans her house.
6. She has been married to this man for 1 year and they are now getting a divorce.
7. He sold her car and she now has to walk.
8. He doesn't give her any money to buy food, therefore, there is no food in her home.
9. She had ovarian cancer some time ago and can't have any more children.
10. Her parent disowned her because she became pregnant and she has nowhere to go.

Phew! And I thought I had problems!

While listening to her story, errr, I mean her problems, I actually had lots of comments which I kept to myself because even though I don't want to judge (and I shouldn't!) it would have came out the wrong way. So I just kept my potato-mouth shut and let her talk it out as that's probably what she needed - talking to someone she didn't know seeing as she had nobody else to talk to. Maybe I just have that I'm a stranger, you can talk to me kind of face because people tend to potato-slap me with things like this most of the time.

As you can imagine, I didn't say much except for the good old "everything will work out the way it's supposed to" over-popular line together with a "good luck", but even as I'm sitting here, I can not even think of anything else that I should have said that would be of any use to a 22 year old.

Instead of being saved by the bell, I was saved by her son who's team finished earlier than the rest. She then got up and thanked me (I'm not sure what for) and proceeded to the gate from where I assume she walked home with her son.

I feel kind of bad for her and I thank my lucky stars that my life turned out differently...so far!

May she find her happily ever after - and may I not be there to hear it all.

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