Be Understanding and Understand People Better - How to Communicate With Those Who Are in Your Relationships
The power of understanding is one of the most powerful human emotions. Understanding is actually a mental procedure relating to an object, an abstract, or even concrete concept through which one can use concepts to represent that object in our mind. This process is extremely important in communication and has been practiced by many cultures since the dawn of recorded history. In the United States, we practice it through our education system, but most of us don't really understand it until we are exposed to it during the course of our personal and professional lives. What is so powerful about understanding?
The most powerful aspect of understanding is its ability to provide a source of security and hope in the midst of all the unpredictability that life offers. Through a process of self-disclosure, people who seek understanding let go of the things that they are frightened of about themselves and others. Often times, those who seek understanding with others find it comforting to know that there is someone out there who is willing to listen, offer advice, and share their experiences. Furthermore, when we have opened up to others about what we are scared of or what concerns in life, we are more likely to be able to identify the source of our fears and be open to resolving them accordingly.
Another powerful aspect of understanding is that understanding others can help us avoid repeating their patterns of behavior. When we understand the behaviors of others, we are better prepared to avoid their traps. If we watch the way that others act or react to situations, then we are less likely to replicate their patterns, because we will recognize what makes us feel good or bad.
Lastly, understanding is an amazing strategy for increasing our self-esteem and sense of self. When we can clearly see what we do not like about ourselves or others, then we are more apt to work towards changing those areas instead of dwelling on the things we dislike. Through understanding others, we become more empathic, compassionate, and understanding toward others. Our self-confidence grows as we take pride in our relationships and are willing to give in to others needs and wants.
The key benefit of understanding is that it allows us to develop the courage necessary to stand up for ourselves and fight against fear, regardless of why our fears are strong. When we are fully aware of how our behavior affects others, we are more courageous to confront fear based on that understanding. This gives us the ability to work through fear in relationships by standing up and saying, "You are being unreasonable." By working through fear with understanding, we improve the quality of our relationships.
The more you understand your fears and know how they affect you, the more understanding you will have for others. You will be less likely to revert to behaviors that result in feelings of blame, anger, resentment, and self-isolation. When you are able to clearly see the problem, you are able to make changes that benefit you and others. This enhances communication and facilitates building on healthy relationships.
While understanding and being aware of our own fears are beneficial in improving our relationship, recognizing others' fears requires a bit more effort. It takes more than simply agreeing with them because you know their viewpoint. Understanding and being aware of the perspective of the other person also requires compassion, care, and respect.
So, how do we do this? Practice mindfulness every day by watching the things that other people do, listening to them, and responding to their thoughts and feelings. Focus on the reactions of others and how you respond to them. This awareness helps you understand people better so you can communicate more compassionately, understandingingly, and honestly with those who are your partners in life.