Anger is something that is very friendly to me. That too when I have a conversation with my mom, I easily get provoked. But my anger is usually instantaneous. I just react to a particular situation but I will not literally have anything in my mind. I did lots of analysis on this to try and understand why I'm getting so much of anger. I found few reasons why I easily get anger:
Stress: This is one of the main reason why I show my anger to others. In office if I'm exposed to a continuous stressful work throughout the day, the stress is exhibited in the form of anger. When I reach home I used to show all those anger to my parents without even thinking.
Hunger: This might look silly but I have noticed that when I'm a bit hungry I get lots of stress in my head and the outcome is exhibited as anger. It will be kind of an urge where I will have to definitely let it out to someone. It automatically settles down when I fill my stomach.
Hatred: Though this is not something that I personally experienced, I have seen this commonly happening. There are few people who easily get anger by seeing someone. Just a face to face meeting will be enough to trigger someone. This is because of a kind of hatred they have on others.
Basically anger is not a permanent thing. No one is interested to stay angry all the time like how hulk says. People are just reacting to situations and the reaction is exhibited in the form of anger. I took few steps to overcome my anger issues.
- When I get provoked easily, I started observing myself and tried to understand what happens inside me. Before I react immediately I tried to do a mental rehearsal of how I will be reacting. Just because I was not convinced I stopped doing it. This helped me a lot.
- In most of the situations I stopped reacting. If I think I will get provoked by the response from people, I will stop the communication and try to approach the person in a different way.
- If anger comes as an outcome of heated conversation, I try to add some jokes in between the conversation. This not for the sake of others but for me to not get provoked.
- I always try to express even bad things in a nice way. This will help solve anger problems. If the expression is good, the opposite person in the conversation will not be provoked. There is a high possibility that the conversation will end up smooth even though it was a negative conversation.
- Avoid talking to people when they are in bad mood. If I identify someone in a bad mood, I will better avoid talking to them instead of trying to talk to them and get their stress expressed in the form of anger on me.
Apart from the above there are quite a lot of situations where people really piss off others. Those situations become natural and we will not be able to do anything about it. In such situations I usually let it flow but I make sure I don't utter any bad words.
"Anger is the cause of all miseries. One should know how to control it. If not life will become miserable."
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