How i turned 180° and became healthy and positive.

At the beginning i wanted to say that this post is written to share my experience and maybe help some people change for the better if they are willing to.

This is me now feeling strong and great! :)

So let's begin :D
Since my very early childchood i was teached to value what other people think of you, do things that they like so you look good in their eyes. Very little i knew that this will screw me up a lot in my life but hey, i had no clue back then. My family was always close, aunts and cousins were often visiting us for any special occasions. So as i saw how my family interact with eachother i applied it into my relations as well. The problems started very soon, whenever someone rejected me or was angry i felt bad, because i always thought that people have to like me or i'm some kind of a loser. i grew up, went to highschool and there things became even worse, as i saw people partying, smoking, valuing a lot what they wear and have, I thought i have to be the same to not be rejected. This was very bad mindset, i started to smoke cigarretes and sometimes weed and eat very unhealthy. As far as i was in the center of the group and their attention everything was fine to me. I made a lot of mistakes during this time and i was feeling really dumb for it. OH! How many times after doing stupid thing i asked myself WHY have i done this?! I never really understood why...

But this was about to change as i met someone... After couple of bad relationships i met my current boyfriend and I was not aware what is going to happend. I had long crush on him, so when we started to date i was in heavens. After one month of relationship he decided to change, from silly partying to someone who can provide us good life, i didn't understood him fully at that time. He said he won't go to parties anymore, he wont drink alcohol, he will start eating healthy and study.

That was my face at the time:
You what bro?

Well i was like okay... But my first thoughts were like "what my friends gonna think now?!" i was so dumb...
After some time he start to talk to me about all those things as well, why eating meat is hypocritical because i say that i love animals, how smoking is killing me and he don't want to look how i'm killing myself. How all my problems are because of my validation seeking, and this over and over again. I was a little bit angry at him but with time i started to see that he is right... Especially when he said this to me:
"You smoke and it's killing you, i would love to stay with you as long as i can so please if you feel the same... Stop killing yourself because you shorten our time together." After that i felt like a big truck hit me. Day after that i quit smoking and never came back to it again. That was the first thing that pushed me to change into person that i'm now. I started to eat healthy, and exercising thinking about solutions rather than problems. Also realized that all this time i was telling him that "i'm trying to change" but deep inside i couldn't care less...

We all know that face "yes yes i will do it" - and to roll one’s eyes

After a month i started to feel and look better, i realized that i was blind, and now i see. I see straight through all this lies that i was living with. I still had issues with validation seeking at that time but i started to understand them more and more. MY motivation never fade away since then as i see how much my life has changed for the better just because i started to value the right thing which is life itself. I started to care about people and animals around me, even our planet... I feel like i'm part of something bigger and that i have to take responsibility. Not the responsibility that we don't like but the one that gives us pride and energy to climb into the better world.

And this is me now, feeling 10000 times better than before if you are interested more into what motivated me and my reasons behind living on plant based diet, working out and stuff you can ask for it in the comments :D IF there is anything i can do to help you change i will surely do it!

I know some people don't have someone that will show them how to change or motivate them. But trust me even that important person can't change you unless you really want to change. People around me change for the better not because of me but because they find something worth living for. Something that they appreciate and love. As soon as you find that thing believe me you will change! And how to find it? Look deep inside you and ask yourself who you really want to be and from this point you will start changing maybe slowly but you will feel it. Our past can't define us as it exist only as memories and nothing else, we are completely different person right now we are not the person form the past.