RE: Steemit and the anxious mind
Social media really can be great for some people like yourself who struggle in face to face social situations.. I personally understand the crippling feeling of social anxiety as I also suffer from it (I am a Mum also!) though in my case I have found social media has made it worse over the years. It’s so easy to compare yourself to others basking in their ‘highlight reels’. I find social media makes it too easy to hide behind a fake persona (not implying that you are fake, you seem like a very intelligent woman!), therefore I feel even more disconnected from people which in end contributes to more anxiety. I find that pushing myself into face to face social interactions makes it easier to overcome social anxiety because you can see the REAL person for who they truly are, very few can hide honest body language (unless you have mastered the art of deception), and usually when you pay attention to people closely you will discover that most are no less self concious than you are, I guess I find comfort in this! It’s also an easy way to discover who is truly genuine, because the people who matter and truly care for you and your life (and your children) will find a way to reach out to you even if you don’t use social media. Its taken me many years to learn this but after deactivating all of my accounts 6 months ago I have learned so much about people, who my true friends are but most importantly myself and my own mental traps (depression and anxiety). The break and lack of distraction has allowed me to really delve into the depths of myself and find out where this social anxiety is really coming from. Being a new mother of a 6 month old baby girl I understand the lonliless and isolation us mum’s can experience esspecially in the early days so social media can be an easy answer, but I encourage anyone to take a little break and test the waters, even for a short time, you never know what you may discover about yourself :-)
Might I add, I guess you could say Steemit is a new form of social media unlike the rest which I am really enjoying so far! It’s refreshing to connect with like minds and people who actually have something meaningful to share rather than scrolling through the endless feed of selfies!
I think you and I have a lot on common! One of the main reasons for my disconnect last year...was that I was constantly comparing myself to others. It’s especially easy to do this since most of the people I’m “friends” with on other social media sites are people I knew from school. I would see someone post something and think “ Wow, so and so has such a nice home...I wish I had that” or “she always looks so stylish, why can’t I be like that?”. I realized it was a problem...I also realized, like you said...people are only posting little snippets of their lives. A girl that I always admired...I mean, she looked like she had he greatest life, a wonderful happy marriage, big house...you name it. Then one day, she posted that she was getting divorced...and I thought to myself...what a facade! I looked at my family, home, and marriage and realized...I have a great life! Why am I wasting my time worrying about “keeping up with the Jones’”
As far as putting myself out there in face to face situations....Ugh...I know you said that you can tell a lot through body language...My body language screams “awkward and uncomfortable”. Lol. I find it easier if I chat with someone online for a while before the meeting...that way there’s some sense of comfortability! I haven’t made any mom friends and my oldest is 4! I fully understand the loneliness thing. I’m hoping once my oldest starts kindy, he will make friends...forcing me to socialize with the parents! As far as Steemit goes...it’s awesome...I don’t compare myself in the same way...because we come from all walks of life!
Oh man that story is all too familiar! I also was realizing I was getting so caught up with comparing my life with others (I’m competitive by nature so that doesn’t help lol) then I look at my amazing, strong, beautiful, caring husband holding my baby girl and I think to myself what the hell am I worrying about! I have everything I need.. I should just enjoy it and be grateful! I understand what you’re saying about feeling and appearing awkward and comfortable... I suppose in my case I appear to have mastered the art of confidence but little do people know that I am in fact an extroverted introvert.. So basically I appear confident on the outside when I’m in fact shitting myself and anxiously overthinking everything on the inside lol. A catch 22 you could say... But sometimes you just gotta fake it until you (at least appear) that you’ve made it ;) Why is it that you haven’t met any other mamas yet? I only know a couple in my city yet I feel the only thing we really have in common is the fact that we have babies.. so it still feels a little lonely I suppose. I just read your post about your husband and sons.. what a lovely, positive read! You sound like you have such a strong family unit. it actually made me tear a little as I looked at my wonderful husband sleeping next to me right now (I may have had a couple of cheeky wines ;-)) but I just wanted to say how sweet and refreshing it was to hear such a positive story about a happy, functioning family.. it’s not often you hear a genuinely (or so it appears) happy story these days! Props to you lady!