I'm Mostly Back: A Rare and Really Sad Personal Blog Post that Started Life as an Update on my Content

I normally don't like to give updates about my content or Steemit activities because I would be rather be producing my content but I also know more than a few users here have written "I am taking a few days off" posts, like I did, only to never return or be heard from again. I just went through and unfollowed a bunch of dead accounts today and I saw a lot of that type of thing, in fact. Anyway, because that is the case, I wanted to let everyone know that I have not ended my career as a Steemit author. In fact, I spent the better part of this evening working on one of my regular posts but I am also pretty exhausted (due to some real life issues) and that post still needs some heavy editing before it is up to my personal standards and that is more work than I can realistically do before I crawl off to bed and try to get some sleep.

Aside from the Steemit issues and the delays that they caused (which we are probably all tired of hearing about), my content may still be a little slower than usual (I would like to still write at least three posts per week for the time being and I think that is very doable, though) because things have been a little rough in real life. I wrote about my sick grandfather several weeks ago and he is doing a little better but he needs a lot of help. A relative's husband also, quite suddenly, passed away. I make no claim to having been close to either my relative or her husband but there have been some obligatory family visits, people coming to town, and the like. However, the thing that has really worn on me is my dog.

He is rather old and I think that he is not doing well. I know it might seem like a misplaced emotion (given the other recent events that have happened around me) but I have a particularly strong bond with that animal. He came to live with me when he was six or seven weeks old and I have never spent more than a night or two away from him. I even chose caring for him over a relationship once. He had to have knee surgery because he had hurt his leg pretty bad while he was playing and that meant that he needed almost constant care. The girl did not like that I chose to be with my dog over her but I still feel like it was the better option. He was never obedient or "submissive" on the way that "trainers" want dogs to be but he did not need to be (plus, I really don't like how a lot of those people treat those dogs). He is smart, he is excellent at reading situations, and he is always pretty "good" to begin with. He is extremely independent and fiercely protective over his family (even now, with his failing health and all). Sadly though, he has stopped eating like he used to and is having a really hard time getting around. The evening of the hardfork, I also found a lump on his chest. He is over ten years old and over 110 pounds (large dogs tend to have a shorter lifespan, if you weren't aware). There isn't much that can be done for him that wouldn't just result in a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering for potentially no or, at best, very little reward for him. I know what is coming, sooner or later, and saying that I am not happy about it is a severe understatement.

For now, I am just trying to keep him happy, spend time with him, feed him things that he likes, and make the rest of his life pleasant. Sometimes though, when he is lying in another room, I hear him gently crying to himself and I wonder how long keeping him happy is going to be possible. It breaks my fucking heart and I don't know what else can be said about it.

Needless to say, those situations, along with the Steemit trouble that we all have had, have left me feeling a little less motivated than usual but I am trying to keep working on my content as much as I can and I expect to get a few posts out this week.

I am not completely certain why I am sharing all of these things ( I'm don't even have a good excuse, like being drunk). This post was supposed to be a one paragraph content update sort of affair. I don't expect some outpouring of sympathy. I guess I needed to vent or just to state things that I have not been wanting to think about for a while; it's hard to tell which. I hope this isn't too out of character for my blog and that I didn't ruin the day of everyone who read this far. My apologies if this wasn't up to par with the rest of my work. I should be back to putting out my regular style of content tomorrow with the post that I was working on earlier about the "bad influence argument."

Peace.

With the exception of the picture of my dog which I (obviously) own, all the images in this post are sourced from the free image website, unsplash.com.