Great post but one that saddened me greatly. After reading it I now understand more why the US is like it is. Meaning it is a hard country to live in care wise/empathy wise. I had suspected this for many years but without ever visiting or living in the US I was not certain. Now I know and I thank your for your honesty. I have never heard any American talk so openly about this awful state of affairs before. I have to say it chilled me to the bone and made me wonder how on earth American folk can go on living in such a inhumane way/society?
I live in Norway and we do not have this financial worry at all. Everyone gets a decent state pension and all are well taken care in their elderly years. Homes for the elderly are amazing. Some are better than others but all are of a high standard. Generally the care homes in the smaller villages are the best because everyone knows everyone and so I guess we tend to take of those we know slightly better.
If you own your own house or property you don´t have to sell it either. What happens is, the Care home/centre takes control of the property and rents it out. The property´s equity value is taken into into consideration. A valuation of the property is made at the moment you enter the car-home and your property partly pays for your care, as well as the state. When you die the house is returned to the family at the original price it was when they entered the home- if that makes sense?
If you have no property then the state pays anyway.
The pension varies in what job you had but even if you had no job you still get a pension. It is lower but you could live quite well. The state pension is backed by Norway´s oil fund which was set up back in the 1970´s-
Norwegian society the elderly are seen as the No1 citizen and as such have tremendous say in things and much respect. There are 4 reasons for this:

1. -because we know that we would not exist without them.
2. • because every elderly person is someone´s mother/father- grandmother/grandfather
     3)- they were the generation who built the base of our lives before us and as such deserve respect.
     4)- we know that we will all be old one day and so wish to be treated well and take care of.
     Our healthcare is also free. Well that is not exactly true. You pay for the first 15% of the cost. After that it is free. If the treatment is for a life threatening illness then is it free anyway.
     I know that Sweden and Iceland are pretty much the same.
     The only think I know of that is treated strictly with regards to paying for medical care etc, is the rescue service. For example, if you went walking in the mountain and you were warned it was too dangerous due of bad weather, and then you still went out there and got in trouble, you would have to pay for the whole cost of the rescue. I remember a couple of years ago an English guy went sailing on one of those surf-board things. There was a big sign saying "Dangerous conditions. Do not attempt to sail". Many locals even told the English guy NOT to go out there. His reaction was: "fcuk off and mind your own business". He later got into trouble and had to be rescued. A week later he was sent a huge bill. He went to the media to complain and they asked him "Did you not see the warning sign?" If there had been no warning and the weather was fine and he then needed rescuing, then it would have been free. We in Norway think this is fair enough. If you put lives at risk by being selfish then you have to pay the consequences.

In the 1980s film "Dirty Dancing"- there is a scene where the family are in the restaurant. They can´t finish the meal because there was too much food and they were too full. One of the family says "Are there still starving children in Europe".
Also in the film "Spiderman 2". There is a scene were Peter Parker´s mother is having to move out of her house due to her her husband had died and so she could not pay the bank as she had no income . We in Norway were horrified at that scene but it was presented as being quite normal.
Considering the US has been known as the world´s greatest land, from what you are saying, it seems to me that it is now falling behind Europe.
The American system, seems to be based on the idea that no one will ever get old and if you do, then your value as a citizen is stripped away. In a sense, the world is colder the more you become older.
If I printed out your post and showed it to some of my elderly friends.....well I would have to make sure they did not have a heart condition. But if they did have a heart attack. well at least they would get free medical care.
So sorry to hear about this because Norwegian people love America, they really do. They have never forgotten that our Queen Maud stayed with President Roosevelt during the period of the Second world war.
I hope in the future the US can come forward past this idea of a building their society on a kind of survival of the fittest bases. At least for their own benefit when they become old and their future generations.