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RE: If I Just Had More Time, I Could....
I understand you.
The most valuable thing in the universe for sure. In essence all we have is - right now. One thing I learned from my grandfather was to cut out people who either "waste my time" or "steal my time". It sounds hard or ruthless but I must have saved years of my life doing that. By doing that first step I found myself getting better at organizing my time so that I can do the things that give me joy or fulfill me in some way. However, even so, I still find myself getting trapped into doing things I dont really want to do.
It is not easy. All we can do is try harder my friend.
Wisdom there. We do the best we can, and when we know better, we'll do better. My wife and I are downsizing our lives... mostly because we've come to realize that maintaining our immediate "infrastructure of life" is a time sink. We bought a fairly large rambling property some years back, based on having kids and grandkids running through here on a frequent basis. As it has turned out, two of our kids are unlikely to have kids and the third does have kids but they live clear across the country... and the "time sink" is that we've been putting effort into maintaining a paradigm that didn't actually come to pass. So we've been redefining where we get our true joy in life.
Funny how life does not always turn out as we planned or expected.
For years I misunderstood evolution. I always thought it was "survival of the fittest". -I was wrong. A doctor friend of mine educated and corrected me on this and explained that . what makes a species evolve and survive is not the strongest or the fittest, but those that can change or adapt to changes.
When I learned this, it changed my entire way of how I lived my life. Instead of trying to the strongest, I simply find of a way of adapting to when things change. Since then I have become far more content with life. We are built to change and adapt - instead trying to be a stone, I try to be like water and go with the flow.
Good look my friend, I am sure things will work out for you and your partner. You are an intelligent and wise person, you will adapt I am sure.
I appreciate that story... I think it's a misconception many labor under; "survival of the fittest" being such a buzz-phrase for our modern competitive time. I hadn't thought much about it, but remember some of my Darwinian studies... including precisely how the animal life of the Galapagos Islands adapted to their harsh surroundings... they weren't "the fittest."
Yes, plans change... so we change with them.